Tuesday, December 30, 2008

unexpected visit from a friend

My friend Mecca called today, said she was in town and did i want to do anything? Mecca's always like that, rather unpredictable -- but when she calls, i jump at the chance to see her because if i don't it might be a year or more before i get another chance.  we've been friends since kindergarden, and it's a little strange to still see her.  
We have so much history together; distance has not divided our friendship, and she still has the quirky, wild manner of someone who really doesn't care what anyone thinks.  but she also has a very negative way at looking at people... and if she thinks she'll fail at something she won't try and then she'll blame everyone around her for being stupid.  although, she deals with so much, it's a marvel she's functional at all.  i love to see her, but we're growing into such different people.  how do you tell someone so independent that you're worried for them?  how can you say that you want to be there for someone you only see once a year?
*sigh*

Monday, December 29, 2008

little joys

today i visited a family friend, Sunny Birkhamshaw.  She's in her mid-80's, and spent much of the time saying "oh you're such a perfect child" which was a little awkward, but other than that the trip was quite charming.  i took some nice photos, and she told the most wonderful stories.

now Gin's in the kitchen singing "if only i weren't a shepards pie" in an irish lilt, making up lines such as "then i could go to oxford and become an accountant" and "some boy came and ate me on his way to school, so now i shan't see the daffodils bloom in the spring." it's good to have her home.

Saturday, December 27, 2008

until tomorrow

i had a slow morning.  dad was at work, and gin left to pick him up and then head on to my cousin's wedding reception in Gilroy around noon. i spent the early hours of the day scrapbooking.  this particular scrapbook begins at the beginning of high school, or, more specifically, the summer after eighth grade.  it was so strange to see the photos, seeing the faces of people who've changed drastically since then, captured forever in a time when they had less experience but more innocence. then there were the faces of those who i haven't even seen in since then, and i really don't know what happened to them.  (i'm listening to "Give Me Your Eyes" by Brandon Heath right now, and it seems fairly appropriate to the emotion).

anyways, it was interesting to reflect on those times.  Mum came home around one from her testing session, and she skimmed over the pages with me but wasn't too interested.  then Sarah Atencio came over around 2; she went through the scrapbook with me, page by page.  that meant a lot to me, more than she will ever know.  brianna called and came over soon after, and we spent a delightful time chatting about, well, everything.  i love having conversations with friends, the sort of discussions which just flow naturally to any area of life.  a little later sarah announced we should run barefoot outside up and down the street (she's a bit peculiar:)  we did, and then decided that the lighting was marvelous for photos.  we rushed back inside and dressed up, using some of my fabulous red lipstick (i LOVE bright red lipstick for photos and shows; it just stands out!) and random clothes.  we flitted around my street, using what was available to us to take the best photos we could.  out of 219 photos, we came up with 131 passable pictures, 47 good ones, and 7 fabulous ones (in my opinion, at least.  we could only agree on 4 of them).  

all in all, the evening was quite charming and will be a lovely precursor to tomorrow's viewing of Phantom of the Opera in SF (YES!!!! VERY EXCITED!!!!).  the only problem is i seem to have misplaced my glasses, which is rather distressing. i dare say they shall reappear, i just pray that it will be before the show.  it would be TERRIBLE to not be able to see :(
anyways, i hope your days are as blessed with good music and good company as mine :) SHALOM!!!

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Holiday cheer

it's Christmas Eve!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
this is where the childish side of me gets ridiculously excited and starts singing christmas carols off tune (but i never finish a whole song, they just seem to blend into each other).  i'll fritter today away, wishing away the hours by reading and playing scrabble and such.  tonight mum will make a big dinner (that seems to be the thing which excites mum the most about the holidays, an excuse for an elaborate meal.  she's much like a stereotypical italian mother in that way) and the whole family will hole up in the living room for the evening to watch christmas specials.  probably "Claymation Christmas" or "It's A Wonderful Life" because those are family favorites we haven't watched this year yet.  

then i'll get my sleeping bag and lie on my sisters floor, and try and utterly fail at falling asleep.  i'll drift between midnight and one, then wake every half hour or so to dash into the living room to see if Santa's come. when he has i'll wake Gin.  then we'll go through our stockings, show each other, discuss whatever odd things we get (it's usually small stuff like socks and gift cards, but one year Gin got a computer. i was about 7 and she was 13, and i was very jealous [even though i had no idea how to use a computer]. oh, and there's always chocolate oranges in our stockings; don't really know why, it's just a tradition.) 

eventually we'll go to sleep, then wake up a few hours later for breakfast (usually panatoni courtesy of someone on Dad's route, which is unfortunate because i HATE panatoni.  but we're having something else this year, something secret.  silly italian mother) and after breakfast presents.  then we lounge around the house, happy but also sad that we have a whole year to wait before we go through the process again.
yay.  so excited!
*claps with joy*
wow, i wrote a lot more about that than i was expecting.  i guess i just really look forward to these two days and the family feelings they bring.
anyways, 
HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!

Monday, December 22, 2008

Little Women

i just finished "Little Women" by Louisa May Alcott.
i am in a state of shock (i'm always feel sort of lost when i finish a good book, particularly when i've read it for the first time).  my life's certainly been enriched by it's many lessons, and the personal dedication in this copy makes it particularly precious to me.  i have a feeling this will be one story that i'll keep for the rest of my life....
to share a little of my joy, here's one of Jo March's poems which particularly moved me.  she's describing her sisters through chests full of objects of theirs:

IN THE GARRET
Four little chests all in a row,
Dim with dust, and worn by time,
All fashioned and filled, long ago,
By children now in their prime.
Four little keys hung side by side,
With faded ribbons, brave and gay,
When fastened there with childish pride,
Long ago, on a rainy day.
Four little names, one on each lid,
Carved out by a boyish hand,
And underneath, there lieth hid
Histories of the happy band
Once playing here, and pausing oft
To hear the sweet refrain, 
Than came and went on the roof aloft,
In the falling summer rain.

" 'Meg' on the first lid, smooth and fair,
I look in with loving eyes,
For folded there, with well-known care,
A goodly gathering lies --
The record of a peaceful life,
Gifts to gentle child and girl,
A bridal gown, lines to a wife,
A tiny shoe, a baby curl.
No toys in this first chest remain,
For all are carried away,
In their old age, to join again,
In another small Meg's play.
Ah, happy mother! well I know
You hear like a sweet refrain,
Lullabies ever soft and low,
In the falling summer rain.

" 'Jo' on the next lid, scratched and worn,
And within a motley store
Of headless dolls, of school-books torn,
Birds and beasts that speak no more.
Spoils brought home from the fairy ground
Only trod by youthful feet,
Dreams of a future never found,
Memories of a past still sweet;
Half-writ poems, stories wild,
April letters, warm and cold,
Diaries of a willful child,
Hints of a woman early old;
A woman in a lonely home,
Hearing like a sad refrain
'Be worthy love, and love will come,'
In the falling summer rain.

"My 'Beth!' the dust is always swept 
From the lid that bears your name,
As if by loving eyes that wept,
By careful hands that often came.
Death canonized for us one saint,
Ever less human than divine,
And still we lay, with tender plaint,
Relics in this household shrine.
The silver bell, so seldom rung,
The little cap which last she wore,
The fair, dead Catherine that hung
By angels borne above her door;
The songs she sang, without lament,
In her prison-house of pain,
Forever they sweetly blent 
With the falling summer rain.

"Upon the last lid's polished field --
Legend now both fair and true --
A gallant knight bears on his shield,
'Amy,' in letters gold and blue.
Within the snoods that bound her hair,
Slippers that have danced their last,
Faded flowers laid by with care,
Fans whose airy toils are past --
Gay valentines all ardent flames,
Trifles that have borne their part
In girlish hopes, and fears, and shames.
The record of a maiden heart,
Now learning fairer, truer spells,
Hearing, like a blithe refrain,
The silver sound of bridal bells
In the falling summer rain.

"Four little chests all in a row,
Dim with dust, and worn by time,
Four women, taught by weal and woe,
To love and labor in their prime.
Four sisters, parted for an hour, --
None lost, one only gone before,
Made by love's immortal power,
Nearest and dearest evermore.
Oh, when these hidden stores of ours
Lie open to the Father's sight,
May they be rich in golden hours, --
Deeds that show fairer for the light.
Lives whose brave music long shall ring
Like a spirit-stirring strain,
Souls that shall gladly soar and sing
In the long sunshine, after rain.

Sunday, December 21, 2008

happy holidays

today's been rainy but pleasant, seeing as i've spent most of it inside.  some of my mom's side of the family visited, and it was nice to catch up with my cousin Jamie Lynn (we had a great time attempting to do this turtle puzzle... kinda like a rubix cube but not quite) and discuss books with my Uncle Dave (he's a history teacher and is always interested in hearing what i'm reading in school and out, particularly now seeing as he teaches high school).  my sister and my aunt Marilyn had fashionable discussions (marilyn is the most fashionable person i've ever met; she can pick out cute stuff for anyone without having seen them in ages: size, color, and all... she has a gift for style).  my mom's cousin Janet (what would that make her in relation to me? second cousin?) is a librarian and a very colorful woman, which makes for nice conversation.  my uncle jamie is the computer/SF expert, and his areas of expertise were called upon multiple times during conversation. all in all it was a lovely experience.  it's always neat to catch up with them, and the company was reminiscent of days of yore.  except we used to meet at my grandfathers for Christmas, and all my other cousins would be there too... but they've grown up.  Gin's graduating college this year! goodness, i'm even a sophomore... time flies (*sings One Song Glory from RENT*)

the early hours of the day were spent preparing for guests and reading.  i literally read more of my book this morning than i have in the past month.  speaking of which, i think i'll return to the lovable lives of the March sisters...
happy holidays!

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

mood for poetry

i feel very poetic right now. 
i want to compose
and let the words bloom like a rose
off of a Blue Meanies nose
(if can name that movie you're SPECTACULAR)

Saturday, December 13, 2008

synchroblog #3: christmas

For me, Christmas has always been a time of good cheer and companionship.  It's a time when giving is emphasized more than getting, and (though there are some who always cherish it), a time when song is truly appreciated.  Here are a few aspects of this time of year which make my Christmas:
Christmas is...
-- tromping through muddy groves to find the perfect tree
-- lying in my sisters room waiting for Santa to come
-- barely getting any sleep on Christmas Eve, being soooo excited for the following morning
-- going to shops to see their christmas displays
-- gazing at the shimmering lights on our Christmas tree and getting lost in their colors (when I was little I would climb beneath it and lay there for hours, thinking and playing make-believe)
-- touring around town to see what decorations people have put up
-- having two weeks to read read read!!!!
-- haring Christmas carols so much you could have them, but loving them anyway
-- watching various Christmas classics with the family: "It's A Wonderful Life," "The Snowman," "Peanuts Christmas," "Claymation Christmas," "The Grinch Who Stole Christmas," 
"Rudolf," etc.
-- making Christmas cards for my friends, and watching our house's "card wall" fill with cards from others
-- attending the Christmas ceremonies at my church

other synchrobloggers:
http://thissideoftomorrow.blogspot.com/
http://lissalo.blogspot.com/2008/12/synchroblog-christmas-season.html

Friday, December 12, 2008

quote of the Day 17

the Christmas synchroblog will be coming soon!  i just have a few adjustments to make that i'm too lazy to complete tonight (plus, i know i'll want to add later so i might as well wait a day).  in the mean time, i have some phrases which amused me in my daily activity of living and i wanted to share.  Enjoy!

"Excuse me while i raid my sock" -- Caity

"Porque?" -- Kristina
"Who you calling porky?!" -- Linda

"Move or I'll eat you!" -- Caity
"I'm not edible." -- Kristina
"That's debatable." -- Caity
"Only in certain countries." -- Kristina

"People are stupid." -- Caity (in a discussion about the economy and gas prices)
"They are, and the older you are the more you'll realize this.  You see certain people and wonder how they get by day to day.  How aren't they dead yet?!" -- Danelle

"So, how's school cooling down?" -- James Mitchell (after the choir concert)
"Um, well, they call this dead week, but i assure you it is NOT dead.  It is quite virulently alive, kicking and punching and screaming like an annoying baby." -- Caity

"This is Ellen.  She's amazing and has red hair.  I should really take a picture of your hair, or maybe come into your room when you're asleep and cut off a lock and treasure it forever." -- Caity
"That would be creepy.  Let's stick to the photos." -- Ellen

Saturday, December 6, 2008

how I trust

There are lots of people in the world, people of different origins and interests and talents (I know it's a horribly general statement, but don't run away just yet -- i have a point).  Most of us, through circumstance, necessity, and want, interact with other people, some of whom we like and some which we may not.  And of those we like, there are often a few we  savor the company of, and want to know and be known by.  This person constitutes a potential friend.  But at what point does that person truly receive that title of high merit, and the affection, patience, and candor truly owed to a friend? This is where the generalities cease, for I cannot speak as to how others come to accept someone into their confidence.  I only know what my experience has afforded me, how I behave before truly trusting someone.

For the most part, I am quite confident in who I am.  Yet it seems that before I befriend someone completely, I have a bout of insecurity.  I think "Who am I to intrude on the lives of others?" and "What makes me deserve their company?"
I review my every oddity and every flaw, and I wonder.

Eventually the feelings go away, as the person shows, though actions and words, that they really don't mind my company.  That I'm not a nuisance or a burden to them, but a blessing. And for that acceptance they get... me.  Good days, bad days -- eccentric thoughts and secret feelings.  My help and my opinion.  My laughter, my trust, my support, my love.

I don't know how it is for other people, if I'm unique at all in my feelings.  I don't know how it is for you. But just know that if I seem insecure about myself, it means I care what you think about me.  That you mean more to me than the average Joe, and I want to see if those feelings are at all reciprocated.

Friday, December 5, 2008

all the little AMAZINGS :D

today was a normal day... but it was full of little moments of joy, which altogether amount to make it AMAZING! here are a few of the people and things that made my day:
1) playing Scrabble with Mrs. Adams.  i won by making "graze" into "grazers," with the "s" landing on a triple word score. 48 points baby. i have the photo evidence on facebook, in the "random" folder. mrs adams is a great opponent, and a fun one too.
2) singing with El Bitz and Heather (and Raeo sometimes).  we did some fabulous harmonies, and made some nice conversation.  it felt like friends
3) i wore my fabulous white dress and shimmery shawl today. shane e., upon my excitedly asking him "Don't I look like a Swedish milk maid?!" replied, "No, you look like a deported Finish schoolteacher." (that had me practically rolling on the ground with laughter -- good ol' shaney)
4) Walking to the place where i get picked up after school with Ben M.W. and El Bitz.  Ben commented that my scarf and i are "luminous." *beams*
5) seeing/talking to Ben and Theo (Theo is an 8th grader at St. Francis, so i don't see him on a regular basis.  he rode by on his bike and shouted hi.), two of my favorite Shakespearians.  ah my Shakespearians; they always brighten the day!
6) talking to Jordan A. in history and english -- Jordan is a cheery sort.  i'd like to see her more
7) getting a hug from Sarah A. this morning, and seeing she's wearing the birthday present i gave her
8) Mrs. Manchester randomly walking into mrs adams class at lunch and handing out cookies
9) Danelle G. being so considerate and helpful after school, as well as Suzzanah G. and Linda P.

Speaking of Linda, i'm seeing her and some others at the church tonight to prepare for a sale of christmasy stuffs tomorrow.  i'm seeing quite a bit of my youthgroupians this weekend... *smiles*
that will be nice
oooh, and i'm going to a performance with emma c. on Sunday.  YES!!!
:D

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

random thoughts from today

In French and Mr. Paterelli was our substitute (for those of you who don't know him, he's an 80+ year old retired teacher who is the most hilarious and wise sub in existence).  He told us a story about a man who died recently in the complex where he lives ("we're all just waiting to die in there.  whenever an ambulance comes in we all chase it an shout 'who died?'" ).  He told us about the man's dog Ivy, and how the guy had no car so he'd walk down Leveroni  to get to Safeway to get his dog food.
I met that man.  My dad and I gave him a ride the other day to Safeway. He told us all about how he was a star football player when he was young, and about his dog Ivy.  Now he's dead, and his precious Ivy is at Pets Life Line.
Just makes me think.
***
"it's so quiet in there, you could hear a mouse peeing in a cotton ball" -- Paterelli quote
***
In English we were given the results to our Lord of the Flies character analysis, where we identified similarities between our classmates and the boys lost on the island.  I was voted Simon-like by six people, and Ralph-like by six people. Which is appropriate, for I'm a bit of both.

Sunday, November 30, 2008

We Are Slaves

We are slaves to our flaws
We are slaves to what we do
and what we don’t do.
To how we perceive the world
and how it really is.
We are slaves to our morals
and to the ever rolling boulder of time.
We slave our way out of ignorance
only to again to be enslaved by our knowledge.
We are slaves in a game of dice
None of us are free

Thursday, November 27, 2008

The Secret of Giving Thanks

The Secret of Giving Thanks
Thank you sun for shining so,
Warming us in your brilliant glow.
Thank you moon for your gentle light,
Bringing goodness to the darkest night.
Thank you earth, moist and cool,
Natures most basic tool.
Thank you trees for being so tall and wise
Gardians of the earth, creatures of one thousand eyes.
Thank you rock so patient and still,
In a world so full of change nothing breaks your will.
Thank you eagle, so stunning in flight,
For inspiring me to soar to a greater height.
Thank you snow for your white winterland,
Your beauty causing my very soul to expand.
Thank you, my hand, for wherever we go
You are constantly helpful, be it high or low.
Thank you wind, whether a gust or a breeze,
You who tease the ocean waves and excite the leaves.
Thank you water, so pure and so sweet,
Your heavenly touch differs for everyone you meet.
Thank you cloud, so lovely you are
A silent friend, an embrace from afar.
Thank you flowers for brightening my day
Enchanting the senses in every way.
Thank you shadow for following me
Wherever my sorry self cares to be.
Thank you stars for being here; so delicate, so right,
A blessing in this mortal world, immortal starlight.
Thank you for showing me, world, from mountains to river banks,
That we don’t give thanks because we are happy
We are happy because we give thanks

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

another midnight poem

this is one of my midnight poems, that writing that i scrabble around trying to find my notebook and pencil in the middle of the night for.  i've been typing up my journals, so you might be seeing more of these soon...
***
How many of us smile for the cameras, 
But weep alone at night?
How many of us wonder if anyone really cares?
How many of us experience heartbreak and cannot tell a soul?
What isolates each one of us from another?
Are our feelings silly or irrelevant?
Why am I ashamed?

Monday, November 24, 2008

Quote of the Day 16

"It looks like Hello Kitty on steroids" -- Mum (in reference to these japanese stuffed animals)

"Oh, shut up.  I hate listening to people." -- Linda Presti (my church youth group leader, hence why this quote was so uncharacteristic and amusing coming from her.)

Sunday, November 23, 2008

quote of the Day 15: science style

"If I were a DNA replication enzyme I'd be helicase so i could unzip your genes." -- Noah Huyette

it's funny because it makes sense (moderately, that is)
this made me laugh
a lot
:)

Friday, November 21, 2008

quote of the Day 14

i've been remiss in my quotes of the day, so here's a whole load of them from the past week or more. people say the most fascinating things... :)

"I don't like cottage cheese much.  It's not even really cheese.  It's like 'mmm, white chunky mush'." -- Indy (Josh)

"If you were frozen mashed potatoes, where would you be?" -- Mum

"Pittsburg is where everyone thinks they're normal, but they're crazy.  New York is where everyone thinks they're crazy but their normal." -- The Apartment 
"And San Francisco, well, that's just a melting pot." -- Shane (in a discussion about our favorite movies, this was his addition to the quote from The Apartment)

"That's the way it crumbles -- cookie-wise." -- The Apartment

"Have a beer"
"No, no, my body is a temple."
"No, it's an amusement park." -- Hellboy 2 (because dad bought it on a whim and this amused me)

"That's not random, this is random." -- Shane
"What?" -- Caity
"QUACK!!!" -- Shane

"You should shave your head and say 'I want to be a man!'" -- James
"That's a good solution for everything." -- El Bitz

"Tadpoles have big butts."

"Even this is PDA," (i put my arm around shane)
"Really? I thought that was more of a BFF" -- shane

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Wednesday November 19th. we didn't even make 6 months

you know when you lose something precious, but you don't quite comprehend how much you'd become used to having it in your life?
it hasn't quite sunk in yet.
for better or worse, time moves on.

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Friday, November 14, 2008

Quote of the Day 13

"Friends are fish, not food" -- Mrs. Martin

"Jorge, the oldest and only Chinese moose seller in Canada" -- Brianna, Kristina, Caity (don't ask-- there's no real explanation)

"The music's slightly off... but it's meant to be.  That's what gives it it's beauty" -- James Gusse

I met with the 4th grade girl, her older sister, and her parents today in the career center.  i start wednesday :)

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Quote of the Day 12

"That muffin is half my face!" -- Lauren Penya
"That's more than half your face dear." -- me
"That's like half your body mass" -- monica B.
"SHUT UP!" -- Lauren

"I had a minor firecracker problem." -- Mr. Jacobs

these both made me laugh a long time; the muffin WAS huge, and lauren is extremely light.  Mr.Jacobs was referring to how he lost his hearing in his right ear.  hehehehehehe

Tuesday, November 11, 2008


i sat down at the computer at 11 and now it's 12:30
goodness the computer is distracting
well, this weekend's been awesome; i've gotten a lot done and enjoyed it thoroughly.  read, sung, seen my sister, gone to youth group, hung out with sarah, spontaneously danced a bit.  only thing that could've made it better would be seeing Nathan.
*sigh*
well, Gin is flying back to Washington this morning; we dropped her and julian (her boyfriend) off at the airporter this morning. on the way back mum did grocery shopping while i got a haircut (long overdue).  it's short and poofy, and i feel like i'm someone in a murder mystery in the 1920's.  just something about that style...

Monday, November 10, 2008

tinkerbell

my cat's been lying in the same place on my parents bed all day.  no joke.  she's rolled over a few times, and she'll preen a bit, but she's always resettles in the exact same spot.  she'll probably get up and there'll be an indented nest of cat fur where she was
i sort of admire the regal attitude of cat's.  don't get me wrong, it's a horrid attribute in a human, but with cats... snobbery just befits them.  that manner of living which says the world revolves around me and i am so beautiful, why aren't you all flocking to pet me?
:)
i love that kitty

Friday, November 7, 2008

best day ever

today was spectacular

we did fake interviews today, and i was trying to "obtain the position of a tutor." afterward, Mr.Chantler (the career center man) asked me if i was seriously interested in tutoring.  when i said yes, i told me he knew of a family looking for a tutor in english and math for their 3rd grade daughter.  I'VE BEEN OFFERED A JOB!!! 
:D
very excited.  i've always wanted to teach.  i was so excited that when i came home i started pulling age-appropriate books off the shelves and stacking them.  
harmonized at lunch with heather, el bitz, theresa merino, shane, and james gusse. so awesome. and then on the way home some really cool songs came on the radio ("made to love" by tobyMac and "Icecream" by Sarah McGlaclan) and i bought them off itunes.  

the picture is of me in a fuzzy coat mum bought me a while ago, and just got here in the mail. it's REALLY FUZZY.  

oh
my 
god
my sister just walked in the door
back from washington
she wasn't supposed to be here 'til tomorrow....
YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

going to go visit
peace love and fuzzy coats :)

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

the best part of AP biology

"The cells will either go into a G0 phase, being dormant, or they will commit suicide." -- Kaela Connors

This made me laugh.  A LOT.  Those study sessions are my favorite part of AP Biology.  Today the topics of interest were new vocabulary words (more like sound effects) to go with certain processes, Dalton's inability to pronounce the word "chromatids," the warriors basketball game which they convinced Mr. Neville to play on the TV, and Noah's crazy jewish grandfather.  
:D
awesomeness

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

the next president of the united states

Barack Obama has been elected the next president of the United States.
he just gave one of the best speeches i've ever heard in my life. very moving (I've got the chants of "yes we can" echoing in my head) Mc Cain also gave a very gracious speech welcoming obama, which i appreciated.

i've got that feeling. that feeling where your whole body tingles and you just know something great will happen
I hope he does what he said he'd do.
i hope our nation changes for the better.

Sunday, November 2, 2008

good deeds of the day

i visited my cousin Jamie Lyn at her dorm at Davis today, and mum and i took her out to lunch. afterward i we went straight to my church, which was putting on the harvest carnival for the old folks at Avalon Assisted Living. i arrived very early (stupid daylight savings) so i helped to set things up. the actual carnival itself went well -- the old folks were pleasant, even though a bit odd. there were also some families there -- children and grandchildren. they ran around screaming, being adorable, and adding to the general bedlam. i sang some oldies and joked with sarah loftus, who was in the booth beside mine, and shouted for song requests. it was rather marvelous.

on the way back from the carnival (dad drove me home) we noticed an elderly man walking along Arnold Drive. it was getting dark and the wind was brisk -- dad went in a circle and offered him a ride. apparently he was walking to safeway to buy dog food for his pet. he told us all about his time as a quarterback for a college team, and we chatted about his dog. he was a friendly old man. it was decent of dad to give him a ride.

i'm left feeling better today than i have in ages. it just goes to show that doing the kind thing for someone else is the truly rewarding action

this is halloween

i've decided to post the lyrics to "This is Halloween" from the Nightmare Before Christmas by Tim Burton. Because we were randomly bursting into song while trick-or-treating, but i couldn't remember the whole song. it's awesome.

SHADOW
Boys and girls of every age
Wouldn't you like to see something strange?

SIAMESE SHADOW
Come with us and you will see
This, our town of Halloween

PUMPKIN PATCH CHORUS
This is Halloween, this is Halloween
Pumpkins scream in the dead of night

GHOSTS
This is Halloween, everybody make a scene
Trick or treat till the neighbors gonna die of fright
It's our town, everybody scream
In this town of Halloween

CREATURE UNDER BED
I am the one hiding under your bed
Teeth ground sharp and eyes glowing red

MAN UNDER THE STAIRS
I am the one hiding under your stairs
Fingers like snakes and spiders in my hair

CORPSE CHORUS
This is Halloween, this is Halloween

VAMPIRES
Halloween! Halloween! Halloween! Halloween!
In this town we call home
Everyone hail to the pumpkin song

MAYOR
In this town, don't we love it now?
Everybody's waiting for the next surprise

CORPSE CHORUS
Round that corner, man hiding in the trash can
Something's waiting now to pounce, and how you'll scream

HARLEQUIN DEMON, WEREWOLF, AND MELTING MAN
Scream! This is Halloween
Red 'n' black, slimy green

WEREWOLF
Aren't you scared?

WITCHES
Well, that's just fine
Say it once, say it twice
Take the chance and roll the dice
Ride with the moon in the dead of night

HANGING TREE
Everybody scream, everybody scream

HANGED MEN
In our town of Halloween

CLOWN
I am the clown with the tear-away face
Here in a flash and gone without a trace

SECOND GHOUL
I am the "who" when you call, "Who's there?"
I am the wind blowing through your hair

OOGIE BOOGIE SHADOW
I am the shadow on the moon at night
Filling your dreams to the brim with fright

CORPSE CHORUS
This is Halloween, this is Halloween
Halloween! Halloween! Halloween! Halloween!
Halloween! Halloween!

CHILD CORPSE TRIO
Tender lumplings everywhere
Life's no fun without a good scare

PARENT CORPSES
That's our job, but we're not mean
In our town of Halloween

CORPSE CHORUS
In this town

MAYOR
Don't we love it now?

MAYOR WITH CORPSE CHORUS
Everyone's waiting for the next surprise

CORPSE CHORUS
Skeleton Jack might catch you in the back
And scream like a banshee
Make you jump out of your skin
This is Halloween, everyone scream
Won't ya please make way for a very special guy

Our man Jack is king of the pumpkin patch
Everyone hail to the Pumpkin King now

EVERYONE
This is Halloween, this is Halloween
Halloween! Halloween! Halloween! Halloween!

CORPSE CHILD TRIO
In this town we call home
Everyone hail to the pumpkin song
EVERYONE
La la-la la, Halloween! Halloween! (etc.)

Friday, October 31, 2008

halloween

Mia/Rosa invited me to go up to SSU with her
which was remarkably sweet of her
but the parents didn't want me at a college campus so far away, particularly on such a... festive holiday.
then my sister called in hysterics to say that her friend went into cardiac arrest and was in critical condition in the ICU of a hospital in San Francisco. Gin's not having a great holiday.
now i'm going trick-or-treating with my friend brianna, who called me twenty minutes ago. (typical brianna :)
it was really nice of her to invite me
i'm glad i accepted

*sigh*
life is mayhem

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Quote of the Day 11

"I can still feel my phone in my pocket, even though i left it at Samantha's. It's as if it's made an imprint in my thigh." -- Shane E.
"Are you having separation anxiety?" -- Samantha Salek

"I'm going to the No Name."
"And leaving me here with these freaks?" -- me
"Don't worry, you'll fit right in." -- Kristina Toni

sometimes they're so sarcastic it's painful

Thursday, October 23, 2008

bresson photo



in French class we're studying french artists who influenced French culture and the world. i and my friend Christina Cirelli are researching a french photographer named Cartier-Bresson -- he's pretty incredible. this is one of my favorite pictures of his.
"Bressons legacy lay in his capturing of the bizarre and fascinating acts of every day people. He captured expressions and postures, shadows and lines, fleeting moments forever frozen on film..." -- excerpt from my paper on Bresson

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

synchroblog #2

mmm, i like this synchrobloging thing:  it's really neat to see what everyone else writes and how it compares to my own little stash of happiness.  well, here it is:

PERFORMING. singing, acting, dancing.  being with people who understand the passion of the stage, who i can share my voice and my personality with.  music... is my soul.  listening, projecting, communicating through song.  another layer of bonding occurs when i sing with someone... it's a reason for living.  most of my closest friends are immersed in at least one aspect of the arts, or are dramatic in some way.  

reading and writing, of course. feeling expressed through words. there's nothing comparable to that feeling when (reading or writing) i come to a passage that uses just the right wording.  it's amazing what one can capture on paper... things which appeared simple can have a layer of complexity, and complex things can become simple.  sometimes the best writing is just describing something for what it is.  when i comprehend something through writing i understand it in ways i didn't know existed. even when i write about myself.  or perhaps especially when i write about myself. anyways, it creates a different perspective.

Spontaneously being good at something which has previously been difficult.  Using chopsticks for instance.  This has always been a mystery and a challenge for me; for years i've tried unsuccessfully attempted to use chopsticks, always surrendering to the familiar fork.  However, last night Mum handed me chopsticks and voila! I was even picking up individual pieces of rice!  *shakes head in bewilderment*
i guess this makes me happy because it shows that even if i don't show progress at something at first, practicing really works. which is good, because "practice" is basically the catch phrase of my existence.

NATHANIAL makes me happy. his quirky habits and stories, the way he listens and the way he talks.  being with someone i can trust so completely, not feeling ashamed or awkward.  he's irreplaceable <3
 
what else makes me happy? random little stuff:
hugs, random sincere compliments, less homework than i expected, letter in the mail, mum's good cooking, photography, visit/call/invitation from a friend, drawing, a good song on the radio, rebelliously staying up until 2 in the morning reading a good book, falling asleep to the sound of the rain on my skylight, learning something new about someone, singing in the shower, discovering a really good book/movie/eatery, having a really in-depth conversation, laughing, and all that jazz

all the little things which add up to make life... just right :)

other blogs:

http://thissideoftomorrow.blogspot.com/2008/10/synchroblog-2-on-happiness.html
http://thevoicetobeheard.blogspot.com/2008/10/synchroblog-happiness.html
http://nickbrown.wordpress.com/2008/10/19/my-second-synchroblog/

Monday, October 20, 2008

Quote of the Day 10

"It's okay that you talk to inanimate objects, as long as they don't talk back."
(the above one was so funny i wrote it on my leg on the car ride up to the bowling alley so i wouldn't forget it)

"Everyone has moments, but you live in the moment."

oh dearest melissa.
she's always running into things and tripping and tweaking.
gotta love that girl

Saturday, October 18, 2008

fresh choice excursion

okay, 
when i was little getting shots was actually exciting
not the actual shot part (i'm fairly good at getting shots but it still sucks)

what was exciting was that after we got shots my grandfather would take my entire family out to lunch/dinner at Fresh Choice.  ever since i can remember i've always made the same special salad at fresh choice -- it starts with the grated carrot, a large pile for the base.  next comes the peas and corn (they're always right next to each other so order doesn't really matter) then comes the broccoli (yeah, it used to be one of my favorite foods.  now i just drown it in dressing so i can't taste it.)  then comes the pickles (the sour kind; i've accidentally put the sweet kind on before -- no bueno).  after that i drench the whole pile in ranch dressing, and top it off with plain/italian crunchies (they're actually called croutons, but i call them crunchies.).  Finally, the defining feature of my special lunch is a miniature martinellie's apple cider.  occasionally i'll add a slice of cheese pizza and/or new england clam chowder; hence why i always leave with a stomach ache

the point of this story is that it's a once a year thing that reminds me of when my grandfather was alive.  the food's good, but more than that it's a ritual.  this time though, i was faced with blows of change.  i slid my platter down the counter and was quite distressed to discover there was absolutely no grated carrot.  the foundation of my magnificent salad was missing.  i continued to find broccoli in a box before the peas and corn, and that the plain crunchies were replaced with a mixture.  To top it all off, they had no martinellies.  My world was spinning.  

it seems so ridiculous, except to me it's not silly at all.  this is how it's always been -- i go to fresh choice and i get my salad that i made up when i was little.  period.  it feels like... there are some things i just never expected would change.  something that would always remain steady.
*sigh*
there goes my happy innocent bubble
i'm still trying to accept that all things change
*snort*
fat chance of that happening anytime soon
well, at least the salad wasn't too bad without carrot.

ps. we spent several hours at borders and i bought two books with my gift cards.  mom did something very unusual and spent 100+ dollars on stuffs. most of it was early christmas/birthday shopping.
oh, and george lucas was ahead of us in line.  just thought you'd think that was cool nathan

leaving

i'm going to get my flu shot now
but we're also going out to lunch
and to borders
i have a bazillion giftcards which i need to use up, so it should be exciting.  just walking through rows of books, the tranquility and that paper smell....
mmm, i love bookstores

Friday, October 17, 2008

yay three day weekend!!!... not so much

YAY FOR THE THREE DAY WEEKEND!!!!
*dances celebratory jig*
*realizes won't be seeing nathan*
*cries*
you know what i'm doing over my wonderfully long weekend?
my french current event,
my other french project too,
studying for AP Bio,
reading Lord of the Flies (ew) for english, 
and getting a flu shot
whoopie
:/
*sigh*
well, hopefully i'll also be going to youth group also
and Witchie Poo is always awesome
plus there's that satisfying feeling of NOT going to school on monday
but still
i miss him
:(

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

time flies

exerpt from an email to my dearest nathanial
***
anyways, i haven't done anything today much of note, just plodded along wishing i was with you. as i look back on even my few years the phrase "time flies" has more and more meaning. i feel that if i stop concentrating on the details of the momentary pains and pleasures of daily life, times will blur my vision at the speed it's moving. maybe that's the real difference between existing and living -- existence is the blur of the passage of time; individual existence will be little more than a single brushstroke on the infinite canvas of the universe. but living is something else entirely. living means absorbing the details, appreciating what one has while one has it. even if all one has is a single brushstroke... might as well be the most colorful stroke one can make it :)

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Ground Zero Travel Contest Essay

Hey all! this a story i wrote about an experience i had a while back for a travel contest. would love comments on what you think and suggestions for titles, grammar, better syntax, etc. thanks!

Our guide Jean wove expertly through the waves of people, and the four of us darted after her. Only Brianna, Matt, Casey and I chose to go to Ground Zero rather than shop. Four out of fifty six. Pushing aside the disgust I felt for my fellow students disinterest, I instead observed the City. Glancing around, nothing could be seen farther than forty feet in any direction, for everywhere one looked grand structures loomed under a thick plastering of gray clouds. It was fascinating and tiring at the same time.
For the past three days my fellow students and I’d been experiencing the marvelous life and style of New York City. It seemed like anything could be found in the immense City’s plethora; the only thing absent was silence. Shouts, bangs, laughter, blaring horns and the rumble of traffic meshed into a bedlam of constant sound.
We proceeded briskly through the mobs, passing a smorgasbord of folks. Men, women, old, young, short, tall, dark, fair -- the streets were a patchwork of faces, an ever-changing pattern. The air was laden with the perfume of City life: exhaust fumes and cigarette smoke. I coughed. The City had a time all its own -- everything hurried and rushed, as if there was not enough time in the day. Night did not exist there. Indeed, the City never slept, neon signs and thousands of artificial lights blurring the paint of time into a continuous canvas.
City life buzzed around us, but Ground Zero moved with a different rhythm. The site itself was nothing more than a vast construction zone, workers in vivid yellow jackets laboring amidst the damage. However things were slower here, almost as if the entire City was holding its breath. We gazed upon the rubble that sent violent repercussions through the American people and the world.
“Where were you on 9/11?” I asked Jean curiously.
She responded crisply but her expression was grim. “Funny story about that. I was supposed to be meeting a client that day. She worked at the top of Tower Two,” Jean paused. A chill like an icy finger ran down my spine, but the group remained entranced with suspense.
“What happened?” Brianna asked.
“My mother was very sick at the time. I decided to drive down to Jersey and see her. I called early and rescheduled the appointment; the woman I was supposed to meet died in the crash.”
No one spoke, though the feeling was unanimous. The realization that a coincidence had saved this woman’s life, and the terrifying notion of how little we know about how our decisions affect our tomorrow. Understanding how tenuous life is. How sometimes it’s just a matter of getting lucky.
It was an adventure... still, I would be glad to return to my little California town. I took a deep breath, coughed, and followed Jean back through the crowded streets of New York City.

Saturday, October 11, 2008

today

i saw nathan today
it was amazing, as usual
also met sara, saw alissa, their roommate and their pet rabbit luna
it was an epic experience
performed for the wilmar fundraiser when i returned to sonoma
we were good and the whole experience was fun, except now i have this goop on my face
i hate make up
you'll hear more on this later
for now, i'm going to the bathroom to attempt to scrub more of it off
peace

Monday, October 6, 2008

quote of the day 9

"He wants us to edit this." -- Max
"What? We've already copy edited this! I'm not doing this again!" -- Lee
"I know, he lost the edited one." -- Max
"Tell him to find my other edits or I'll copy edit him in the face," holds up fist menacingly.  "With a red pen. And by pen I mean sword.  And the ink will be the blood.  From his face." -- Lee

never a boring moment in Newspaper :)

Sunday, October 5, 2008

i had a very odd dream last night
i was in a castle, and it was raining.  i was trying to barricade the doors against people outside -- i was inside with others, but they were random people i can't recall.  anyways, even though i was inside the castle, i had the weird feeling that i was the intruder, that the people who i sought to bar entrance should really be the ones inside.  there was a golden retriever there too for some reason, trying to help the people outside get in.  it kept jumping hundreds of feet onto balconies.  in the fashion of dreams everything seemed distinct and expected at the time yet is baffling now that i'm awake.  
the result of this dream, even more bizarre than it's actual occurrence, was that i awoke with a strong urge to recreate the castle.  so i did.  i pulled out my Lego (no easy feat because it was buried in my closet and i have quite a collection from my earlier years) yes, i build with Lego -- there darn awesome. i've seriously considered getting into architecture, if only it didn't involve so much math.
so basically, i spent a majority of the day building with Lego.  it's one of those activities that just sucks up time -- it seems to flow by without my even noticing.  very restful.  
after that mum took me out to lunch at the Cheese Factory, where i ordered the same sandwich i always do. it's kinda funny, because i always order the same thing there, but i always get something different. i've gotten the wrong bread, mustard when i asked for none, no cheese, wrong cheese, no meat, no pickle.  today i got lettuce though i didn't ask for it. always an adventure at the cheese factory.
i talked to my next door neighbors who i haven't seen in FOREVER today.  only for a few minutes before i whisked off to youth group, but it was enough to be shocked at how much brooke and lindsey (sisters three/two years younger than me who used to be my only friends in the world) have grown up, and to realize that my fifth-grader neighbor Jake is taller than me. humph.
youth group was fabulous.  we played all these running games and have rug burns on my hands and knees from sliding about on the rough carpet.  it was a good lesson too.
so that's the update for today.
i miss you.
:'(

Saturday, October 4, 2008

Victor Hugo

for my history class i have to research something which influenced art forms.  I chose to investigate Victor Hugo, author of The Hunchback of Notre Dame and Les Miserables.
i have the musical versions to both stories, and two of my favorite quotes are: 

"who is the monster and who is the man?" -- hunchback

"i ask for nothing, i can get by
but i know so many less lucky than i
God help my people, the poor and down trod
i thought we are were the children of God." -- hunchback

"I had a dream in days gone by
when love was high and life worth living
i dreamed that love would never die
i dreamed that God would be forgiving...
but there are dreams that cannot be
and there are storms we cannot weather..." -- les mis

"to be struck to the bone in a moment of breathless delight
how the world may be changed in just one burst of light
and what was right seems wrong
and what was wrong seems right..." -- les mis

note to self/everyone else in the universe:
REALLY NEED TO READ THESE BOOKS

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

quote of the day 8: wacky tacky day

I gazed quizzically over her red-and-white obscure-faces patterned one-piece outfit.
"Out of curiosity, where'd you get that?"
She looked me square in the eye.  "A dead person!"
Silence.
"Hm." Outburst of raucous laughter from each of us.
"I love thrift stores" she exclaimed between fits of giggles.

"You need no occasion to eat popcorn!" -- Kristina

just wanted to share this with y'all :)

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Quote of the day 7: an intense game of yahtzee

Dad fiercely shook the cup, his face scrunched with anticipation of the roll.  He chucked the dice.  He groaned at the 4, 2, and 1 which threw off his bonus; the choice was cross off yahtzee, large straight, or sixes.  Frowning at the score card, he drew the hateful line through the box which should contain the 50 points for a yahtzee.  "Sorry Dad," I acknowledged sympathetically, all to familiar with his situation.
My roll gave me an average three-of-a-kind, then it was his turn again.  Taking the cup with much less determination, he tossed it and the dice clattered across the table top.  We stared in amazement at the five 4's, the yahtzee he hadn't been able to get.  He looked at me with the most peculiar expression and cocked his head in a bizzare manner.  Then a twinkle came into his eye and a humble grin propped up the corners of his mouth.  
"You gotta know that's God laughing at us."

Monday, September 29, 2008

Fiddler on the Roof Reaction

wow, i haven't cried that hard at the end of a movie in... in...

Juno maybe
and before that The Waitress
i balled pretty hard when i first saw Gladiator too.

music just does something to me.  evokes an emotion deeper than anything i could see.  The stupid dream which Tevye describes to Golda, with all the old corny special effects, scared me (of course, i can't handle modern horror films either, but i genuinely think that when their fear is sung it becomes more real to me).  At the end of fiddler they have to leave Annatevka, and Hava... *tear*

apparently that really happened to my mom's grandfathers family -- they were Jews evicted from Russia.  There's so many stories in the world... so much history to be explored...

*yawn*
it's only 8:45, but i'm REALLY tired.  weird.  heavy crying always seems to do that, sap energy. how irritating.  Until my next burst of inspiration or insanity... (what's the difference?)...

Saturday, September 27, 2008

this was an interesting conversation

yesterday at lunch heather, brianna, james, aaron and i were having an interesting conversation about the dress code.  we were wondering if you could get in trouble for red or blue underwear.  after all, they say that you can be penalized even if the offending color is covered.  
"Take off your underwear."
"What???"
that would make a damn interesting referral: "refused to remove underwear."
just some food for thought.

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Dear Mike

i wrote this to my friend mike on facebook.  he's the cousin of justin and shane burns, and i met him three years ago on a youth group trip.  we just clicked, particularly musically, singing RENT.  however, he lives in Boston, so until i found him on facebook we hadn't kept up.  this was me filling him in on life. :)
***
life's busy.  but from what i've seen it doesn't get less hectic from now on.  i wish i'd appreciated my time before more.  so maybe i should enjoy this time a bit more while i have it.
i've been singing my heart out, I WILL NEVER STOP!!!  i also discovered that i have an avid love of musicals of every type -- something about music telling a story reminds me of my life -- and i've been exploring musicals from My Fair Lady and Les Miserables to modern ones like Wicked (so fabulous!!!) and Jersey Boys, etc.
school is epic.  actually it's all-consuming.  i'm a sophomore, and in retrospect 7 classes (particularly AP status) was a bit ambitious of me.  but you have to go too far to discover the limit, right?  and i can do it, it just means what little social life and extra-curricular activities i participate in have been exed from the schedule. :(
hmm, what else interesting has happened in the three years since we talked?  i have a boyfriend now.  he's amazing.  i got my wisdom teeth out on fourth of july weekend, which was a bit upsetting because i was all puffy.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Quote of the day 6 (several this time!)

"A person is not truly old until regrets take the place of dreams" -- Ben (apparently it came off a drink cap)

"Diversity is the key to life" -- this was kinda the theme to a dinner conversation we had the other night about eugenics.  it was quite interesting

"You guys have therapists?" I inquired curiously, unprepared for their vehement response
"Therapists rock!  You get to talk shit about people and then you feel good about yourself," said Shane.
"And they can't tell anyone what you said because it's against the law" added James matter-of-factly.

Mr. Neville also made a comment with the phrase "engulf and destroy" in it that i found particularly amusing, but i can't quite recall :)

mmm, i'm going to be lazy tonight and perhaps not do every possible homework assignment due in two days.  i might even get the chance to do something fun!!!
even though i have a history test tomorrow.  should study
damn.

i miss nathan.

Sunday, September 21, 2008

this morning

we (brianna and i) just woke up
mwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahaha

Saturday, September 20, 2008

Quote of the day 5

this actually happened yesterday, but i was too lazy to find my planner and post it.

"You know, i don't think i want to go to the game tonight."
"Oh come on, you have to come! We don't even watch the game, you just socialize."
"There's a reason that i come home from school: to de-socialize."

Ah Ben
Gotta love that kid

Friday, September 19, 2008

something more

the weather outside is amazing --
the sky is thick gray blanket, and magic lays heavy in the unusually warm air
it's times like this that i cannot doubt there's something more

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Quote of the day 4

"It's so white! I hate fricken albino fruit!" -- Elyse Evkhanian

i'm not really sure why she was ranting at her white peach, but apparently it's lack of coloring upset her.  i sat down in the middle of a conversation between Elyse and my friend Rosie and this was what they were discussing while Elyse chucked various food articles at Rosie and Rosie laughed and made a great point of sharing with everyone but Elyse.  They were both cracking up.  Oh dear, my friends are an odd bunch.

i knew i forgot to mention something in yesterday's post -- it was kona's birthday yesterday! (kona, for those of you who don't know, is my dog)  she turned 13.  she's an old lady now...
i have to get ready to go to dance now
stupid thursday's

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

tinkerbells feet

 Was going through my photo's.
found this one which i took of my cat's feet.
just thought i'd share it with you.

Monday, September 15, 2008

what's on my mind

i went to montery for my uncle's wedding this weekend. the ceremony was lovely; they wrote their own vows, and it was sweet (they also have a rather warped sense of humor which was highly amusing). during the reception gin and i were the youngest people dancing -- rocking out to "thriller," usher, and "dancing queen" with a bunch of 60-year-olds will forever stick out in my mind as a highlight of life.  we went to an antique shop on sunday, and it was amazing; i'll probably write about it in my next blog

my sister's leaving tomorrow afternoon.  i'll be at school
i just spent the past 20 minutes laughing with my family about how dad stepped in the cat's "gak" yesterday morning. don't quite know why it was so funny.  but it made for a good last evening with her.

i miss you nathan.
a lot.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Quotes of the day 3

wow
it really appears that i have nothing interesting to relay
so i'll just sick some more quotes on you
again, additions are welcome!

"brianna, what do you want for your birthday?"
"uh, a happy birthday!"
"No! what're you thinking! That's absurd! Pick something else!" --shane

ah, dear shane.  he wanted to make her a cake, but he wanted her to ask for it.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Quotes of the day 2

So, i've decided this is exciting and i want to post quotes more often
don't know if i'll be able to manage getting one every day, but i'm sure as heck gonna try!
Today's quote: 

"We're all unique and we all have our own opinions on things.  That's why Baskin Robins has 31 flavors." -- Ben Marcus-Willers (aka BMW aka savvy shakespearian aka best actor i've ever met)

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Quotes of the day

"I always have homework! There's always homework to be done! Homework is inevitable! "
"But what about the weekend?"
"WERE YOU NOT LISTENING TO ME?!?" -- Shane

"Um, Mrs. Adams, are we ever going to finish this project?"
"Sure, i have an extra two minutes for tomorrow, it'll fit in nicely. Haha.  You think i'm joking
haha. ha." -- Mrs. Adams

There are so many good quotes just in every day speech.  Life is an adventure.
Anybody have a quote to add?

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Emails to a Friend

Hello Caity! It's Alejandro.  Got some questions for you to answer if you don't mind.

1. What was your favorite place to visit and why?
2. What are your biggest concerns in life?
3. If you could change one thing in the world, what would it be?

Thank you kindly.
***
Dear Alejandro,
'course i don't mind!  let's see... i don't really have "a" favorite place.  Haiwaii was enjoyable for it's colorful environment and inviting climate.  All places European have appeal to me for their cultural background and old run-down castles and such.  I remember perusing the stony ruins of a castle in Ireland and pretending i was some magical hero of old.  i pretended that there were dragons and wizards around every craggy pillar... :)  i've had some great trips to disneyland as well.  Despite all the fun or mystery a place can hold, what really makes a place or trip memorable is who you're with.  i think my two favorite trips would have to be one i took with my youth group to disney land because i got to know each of them so much better (it is the happiest place on earth).  and then the band and choir trip i took last spring because i got to become friends with other people who have a passion for music.  The highlight of that trip though, was definitely meeting Nathanial Garrod, who's now my boyfriend.  BEST TRIP EVER!!!

my biggest concerns in life are fairly trivial, which is as it should be.  i'm concerned about grades, family, keeping up with old friends and making new ones, trying to balance performing, reading, hobbies, and me time with all the demands of school.  I would sum up my concerns as balancing life in general.

if i could change one thing in the world?  maybe this is passive of me, but i wouldn't change anything which i can't already change.  i know enough to know that i know nothing at all; i don't want to play god.  it's why i don't make a good leader, i'm too hesitant of consequences, especially when they don't effect me specifically.  i feel there is no way to live without offending someone, and i have enough grief taking responsibility for my own actions without adding an extra layer to the cake.  i'll be the change i want to see in the world; that is, when i want to change the world then i will face my fear and face myself.  in the mean time i will try to keep living in ways that aren't too destructive, helping where i can and being strong where i can't.

i hope this answered your questions and it's helpful in the article.  write back in the next hour (by 9-ish) if you have any more to ask (i go to bed early for a teenager, do i not?)  :)

Sunday, August 31, 2008

Giant Drunk Music Orgy

Whew!
I just sang a beatles medley at Clines winery.  We (the beatles ensemble) got there at 1:15, scheduled for 2:00, and didn't go on until 4.  it was hot.  but okay because they gave us food and we wore these REALLY cool colored glasses.  plus it was nice to have time to visit with my Beatles buddies, who are each fascinating in their own right but we don't get time to talk during rehearsal.  The theme of the fundraiser was the sixties, and it was basically a room full of drunk horny adults.  But they spent 6000 dollars on us, so i suppose it was worth it.  Lauren and I also sang with the madrigals because they were singing "Wakati Wa Amani," which we learned last year.  I'm shocked to find they have no tenors! that was upsetting, but i tried to project my harmony as best i could.
i wish i was in it
i do
i just can't handle it... is that selfish of me?

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Being Bored and Overly Nostalgic

I haven't written a blog in a while, so i decided to go through my photos and choose one inspiring.  This is of our Jersey Boys and Dreamgirls crew.  We sang together last year... it was magical.  Always is with Cat.  And those suspenders were FREAKIN AWESOME!!!  
Hm.  I won't say last year was relaxed.  That would be a vast understatement.  But, somehow, being absurdly busy was enjoyable.  "Dancing through life" right?  haha, i love how i can equate anything in my life to a musical.  Sigh... good times.  

Thursday, August 21, 2008

The Good Things In Life

i just ate seven and a half mothers lemon cookies and a cold blueberry pancake slathered in nutella.  i feel better about the world.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

God Bless Heather Keola
God Bless Heather Keola
God Bless Heather Keola
God Bless Heather Keola
God Bless Heather Keola
God Bless Heather Keola
God Bless Heather Keola
God Bless Heather Keola
God Bless Heather Keola
God Bless Heather Keola
God Bless Heather Keola
God Bless Heather Keola
God Bless Heather Keola

Right all
today was my first day of sophomore year
in general it was good (thanks sooo much for suggesting newspaper nathan, manchester is super-duper and it's looking like something i'll really enjoy)
even though i've cried twice today
heather, mrs dillon, and the little voice in my head which is my mother is what saved me. especially heather.  god bless heather keola
i have lots of homework that i shouldn't have to do right now, but i have to do right now.  and now i have to do it.
more on this later, when i retain my sanity.

Sunday, August 17, 2008

Restless

This place... home... it's so suffocating...
why am i on the computer?
i have to go somewhere.
anywhere.
Now.

Friday, August 15, 2008

yay!!!

it's 10:12 in the morning and i have officially finished all my AP Bio reading.  that's right.  Exactly 145 pages of dull textbook: DONE.  plus, this morning i discovered that for the most part my sniffle has gone away!!! (yesterday i woke up hardly able to breathe and with my nose acting like it was the height of hay-fever season).  it must have been a little cold... whatever it was it's gone now.  and, to make things even better, mum called and was like "hey, do you want to go to the Cheese Factory today, just for fun?"  and i was like "when do i not want to go to the cheese factory?!?"  then, running down the hall i did my honorary cheese factory dance/chant.  that's right.  i have a cheese chant.

and i haven't even told you the best part: Nathan's coming over today.
fricken spectacular.
*chorus of angels sing*

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Young At Heart

My Quiet Place

My Quiet Place
Where is it?
Why is it?

Is it just one Tiny Spot-
A Sanctuary for My Soul-
(which at times grows fatigued-
distressed-disturbed
By a sometimes Cruel World)

Is it in a Redwood grove-
Perhaps-
Carpeted with ferns and Leaves
Soft and Hushed-
Private from the Eyes
of All but GOD?
In a tall, tall Grove.
Standing Tiny and Dwarfed
By the Huge and Silent
Red-barked Trees
Hundreds - maybe Thousands
of Years Old
As Man reckons Time.

From High above.
From the Blue of Heaven
Come Rays of Light
Triangles of Light
Diagonally slanted
Toward the Dark Hushed 
EARTH
Below-

Yes - My Quiet Place
Could be There -
In God's own Temple.
In ALL OUTDOORS
I worship HIM
And count my many blessings -

Many Years Have I 
As Men and Women Count Time
But only a Flash of Years -
As the Gods count Time.
They alone know the Heavens
The Age of Stars
The Distances between
Tiny Gleams of LIght
In the Black of Firmament
Time and Space that has
No Limits.
They existed Before
And will exist After
Forever --

Yes - Friend - Amigo.
There is Peace
In such Facets of Nature
And One rests there
Becoming United with
The Trees - and the Sun
And the STARS.

Slowly - Slowly -
Gradually - Gradually -
The Outside Noises Cease
The Inner Noises Cease -
And One has found
His Quiet Place
Her Quiet Place
Again. 
And Now.

This is my favorite poem by my biological grandfather, Milt Forrest.  Today I visited my uncles and cousins (on my mom's side) and was not only thrilled with their company, but my Uncle Dave also gave me a book which he made about Milt.  It's filled with his poetry and art, and the story of his life and how it relates to ours (the grandchildren).  He died in 1991, two years before I was born, so unlike my sister and cousins i don't even have a vague memory of him. Apparently he lived in a trailer park on E. Cotati (where you are Nathan!) for the later years of his life.  *Flips through book*  His world was so different than mine... or was it?  No.... he lived in the same world I do, I just entered at a different time.  But as he wrote, there are things which existed Before and will exist After.  Seeing pictures of him as a boy and a young man juxtaposed with those of him in his last years, knowing that his colorful spirit is gone, i mourn this man i never knew but who had an influence on who i am and what the world is around me.... 
It was neat to see my family, hear quirky family stories and discuss where life is taking them.  All my cousins are so old! 18, 22, 24 (almost 25...)  *sigh*  i still feel like we should be in my uncle jamie's basement room playing video games and playing with all his little gadgets. We used to sit at the "kids table" at christmas, pick blackberries up on the hill, trip over Mary the dog (who would always lie in the most inconvenient places); Mia used to tickle me and I would laugh....  But the house on Mirabel is sold now, and life has thrown different challenges to the each of us, pulling us inexorably down different paths.  But in my heart the five of us will always be there....

We were all so young.
Like Milt Forrest was at the beginning of the book.
Now they're all growing up.
I'm growing up too.