Tuesday, December 30, 2008

unexpected visit from a friend

My friend Mecca called today, said she was in town and did i want to do anything? Mecca's always like that, rather unpredictable -- but when she calls, i jump at the chance to see her because if i don't it might be a year or more before i get another chance.  we've been friends since kindergarden, and it's a little strange to still see her.  
We have so much history together; distance has not divided our friendship, and she still has the quirky, wild manner of someone who really doesn't care what anyone thinks.  but she also has a very negative way at looking at people... and if she thinks she'll fail at something she won't try and then she'll blame everyone around her for being stupid.  although, she deals with so much, it's a marvel she's functional at all.  i love to see her, but we're growing into such different people.  how do you tell someone so independent that you're worried for them?  how can you say that you want to be there for someone you only see once a year?
*sigh*

Monday, December 29, 2008

little joys

today i visited a family friend, Sunny Birkhamshaw.  She's in her mid-80's, and spent much of the time saying "oh you're such a perfect child" which was a little awkward, but other than that the trip was quite charming.  i took some nice photos, and she told the most wonderful stories.

now Gin's in the kitchen singing "if only i weren't a shepards pie" in an irish lilt, making up lines such as "then i could go to oxford and become an accountant" and "some boy came and ate me on his way to school, so now i shan't see the daffodils bloom in the spring." it's good to have her home.

Saturday, December 27, 2008

until tomorrow

i had a slow morning.  dad was at work, and gin left to pick him up and then head on to my cousin's wedding reception in Gilroy around noon. i spent the early hours of the day scrapbooking.  this particular scrapbook begins at the beginning of high school, or, more specifically, the summer after eighth grade.  it was so strange to see the photos, seeing the faces of people who've changed drastically since then, captured forever in a time when they had less experience but more innocence. then there were the faces of those who i haven't even seen in since then, and i really don't know what happened to them.  (i'm listening to "Give Me Your Eyes" by Brandon Heath right now, and it seems fairly appropriate to the emotion).

anyways, it was interesting to reflect on those times.  Mum came home around one from her testing session, and she skimmed over the pages with me but wasn't too interested.  then Sarah Atencio came over around 2; she went through the scrapbook with me, page by page.  that meant a lot to me, more than she will ever know.  brianna called and came over soon after, and we spent a delightful time chatting about, well, everything.  i love having conversations with friends, the sort of discussions which just flow naturally to any area of life.  a little later sarah announced we should run barefoot outside up and down the street (she's a bit peculiar:)  we did, and then decided that the lighting was marvelous for photos.  we rushed back inside and dressed up, using some of my fabulous red lipstick (i LOVE bright red lipstick for photos and shows; it just stands out!) and random clothes.  we flitted around my street, using what was available to us to take the best photos we could.  out of 219 photos, we came up with 131 passable pictures, 47 good ones, and 7 fabulous ones (in my opinion, at least.  we could only agree on 4 of them).  

all in all, the evening was quite charming and will be a lovely precursor to tomorrow's viewing of Phantom of the Opera in SF (YES!!!! VERY EXCITED!!!!).  the only problem is i seem to have misplaced my glasses, which is rather distressing. i dare say they shall reappear, i just pray that it will be before the show.  it would be TERRIBLE to not be able to see :(
anyways, i hope your days are as blessed with good music and good company as mine :) SHALOM!!!

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Holiday cheer

it's Christmas Eve!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
this is where the childish side of me gets ridiculously excited and starts singing christmas carols off tune (but i never finish a whole song, they just seem to blend into each other).  i'll fritter today away, wishing away the hours by reading and playing scrabble and such.  tonight mum will make a big dinner (that seems to be the thing which excites mum the most about the holidays, an excuse for an elaborate meal.  she's much like a stereotypical italian mother in that way) and the whole family will hole up in the living room for the evening to watch christmas specials.  probably "Claymation Christmas" or "It's A Wonderful Life" because those are family favorites we haven't watched this year yet.  

then i'll get my sleeping bag and lie on my sisters floor, and try and utterly fail at falling asleep.  i'll drift between midnight and one, then wake every half hour or so to dash into the living room to see if Santa's come. when he has i'll wake Gin.  then we'll go through our stockings, show each other, discuss whatever odd things we get (it's usually small stuff like socks and gift cards, but one year Gin got a computer. i was about 7 and she was 13, and i was very jealous [even though i had no idea how to use a computer]. oh, and there's always chocolate oranges in our stockings; don't really know why, it's just a tradition.) 

eventually we'll go to sleep, then wake up a few hours later for breakfast (usually panatoni courtesy of someone on Dad's route, which is unfortunate because i HATE panatoni.  but we're having something else this year, something secret.  silly italian mother) and after breakfast presents.  then we lounge around the house, happy but also sad that we have a whole year to wait before we go through the process again.
yay.  so excited!
*claps with joy*
wow, i wrote a lot more about that than i was expecting.  i guess i just really look forward to these two days and the family feelings they bring.
anyways, 
HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!

Monday, December 22, 2008

Little Women

i just finished "Little Women" by Louisa May Alcott.
i am in a state of shock (i'm always feel sort of lost when i finish a good book, particularly when i've read it for the first time).  my life's certainly been enriched by it's many lessons, and the personal dedication in this copy makes it particularly precious to me.  i have a feeling this will be one story that i'll keep for the rest of my life....
to share a little of my joy, here's one of Jo March's poems which particularly moved me.  she's describing her sisters through chests full of objects of theirs:

IN THE GARRET
Four little chests all in a row,
Dim with dust, and worn by time,
All fashioned and filled, long ago,
By children now in their prime.
Four little keys hung side by side,
With faded ribbons, brave and gay,
When fastened there with childish pride,
Long ago, on a rainy day.
Four little names, one on each lid,
Carved out by a boyish hand,
And underneath, there lieth hid
Histories of the happy band
Once playing here, and pausing oft
To hear the sweet refrain, 
Than came and went on the roof aloft,
In the falling summer rain.

" 'Meg' on the first lid, smooth and fair,
I look in with loving eyes,
For folded there, with well-known care,
A goodly gathering lies --
The record of a peaceful life,
Gifts to gentle child and girl,
A bridal gown, lines to a wife,
A tiny shoe, a baby curl.
No toys in this first chest remain,
For all are carried away,
In their old age, to join again,
In another small Meg's play.
Ah, happy mother! well I know
You hear like a sweet refrain,
Lullabies ever soft and low,
In the falling summer rain.

" 'Jo' on the next lid, scratched and worn,
And within a motley store
Of headless dolls, of school-books torn,
Birds and beasts that speak no more.
Spoils brought home from the fairy ground
Only trod by youthful feet,
Dreams of a future never found,
Memories of a past still sweet;
Half-writ poems, stories wild,
April letters, warm and cold,
Diaries of a willful child,
Hints of a woman early old;
A woman in a lonely home,
Hearing like a sad refrain
'Be worthy love, and love will come,'
In the falling summer rain.

"My 'Beth!' the dust is always swept 
From the lid that bears your name,
As if by loving eyes that wept,
By careful hands that often came.
Death canonized for us one saint,
Ever less human than divine,
And still we lay, with tender plaint,
Relics in this household shrine.
The silver bell, so seldom rung,
The little cap which last she wore,
The fair, dead Catherine that hung
By angels borne above her door;
The songs she sang, without lament,
In her prison-house of pain,
Forever they sweetly blent 
With the falling summer rain.

"Upon the last lid's polished field --
Legend now both fair and true --
A gallant knight bears on his shield,
'Amy,' in letters gold and blue.
Within the snoods that bound her hair,
Slippers that have danced their last,
Faded flowers laid by with care,
Fans whose airy toils are past --
Gay valentines all ardent flames,
Trifles that have borne their part
In girlish hopes, and fears, and shames.
The record of a maiden heart,
Now learning fairer, truer spells,
Hearing, like a blithe refrain,
The silver sound of bridal bells
In the falling summer rain.

"Four little chests all in a row,
Dim with dust, and worn by time,
Four women, taught by weal and woe,
To love and labor in their prime.
Four sisters, parted for an hour, --
None lost, one only gone before,
Made by love's immortal power,
Nearest and dearest evermore.
Oh, when these hidden stores of ours
Lie open to the Father's sight,
May they be rich in golden hours, --
Deeds that show fairer for the light.
Lives whose brave music long shall ring
Like a spirit-stirring strain,
Souls that shall gladly soar and sing
In the long sunshine, after rain.

Sunday, December 21, 2008

happy holidays

today's been rainy but pleasant, seeing as i've spent most of it inside.  some of my mom's side of the family visited, and it was nice to catch up with my cousin Jamie Lynn (we had a great time attempting to do this turtle puzzle... kinda like a rubix cube but not quite) and discuss books with my Uncle Dave (he's a history teacher and is always interested in hearing what i'm reading in school and out, particularly now seeing as he teaches high school).  my sister and my aunt Marilyn had fashionable discussions (marilyn is the most fashionable person i've ever met; she can pick out cute stuff for anyone without having seen them in ages: size, color, and all... she has a gift for style).  my mom's cousin Janet (what would that make her in relation to me? second cousin?) is a librarian and a very colorful woman, which makes for nice conversation.  my uncle jamie is the computer/SF expert, and his areas of expertise were called upon multiple times during conversation. all in all it was a lovely experience.  it's always neat to catch up with them, and the company was reminiscent of days of yore.  except we used to meet at my grandfathers for Christmas, and all my other cousins would be there too... but they've grown up.  Gin's graduating college this year! goodness, i'm even a sophomore... time flies (*sings One Song Glory from RENT*)

the early hours of the day were spent preparing for guests and reading.  i literally read more of my book this morning than i have in the past month.  speaking of which, i think i'll return to the lovable lives of the March sisters...
happy holidays!

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

mood for poetry

i feel very poetic right now. 
i want to compose
and let the words bloom like a rose
off of a Blue Meanies nose
(if can name that movie you're SPECTACULAR)

Saturday, December 13, 2008

synchroblog #3: christmas

For me, Christmas has always been a time of good cheer and companionship.  It's a time when giving is emphasized more than getting, and (though there are some who always cherish it), a time when song is truly appreciated.  Here are a few aspects of this time of year which make my Christmas:
Christmas is...
-- tromping through muddy groves to find the perfect tree
-- lying in my sisters room waiting for Santa to come
-- barely getting any sleep on Christmas Eve, being soooo excited for the following morning
-- going to shops to see their christmas displays
-- gazing at the shimmering lights on our Christmas tree and getting lost in their colors (when I was little I would climb beneath it and lay there for hours, thinking and playing make-believe)
-- touring around town to see what decorations people have put up
-- having two weeks to read read read!!!!
-- haring Christmas carols so much you could have them, but loving them anyway
-- watching various Christmas classics with the family: "It's A Wonderful Life," "The Snowman," "Peanuts Christmas," "Claymation Christmas," "The Grinch Who Stole Christmas," 
"Rudolf," etc.
-- making Christmas cards for my friends, and watching our house's "card wall" fill with cards from others
-- attending the Christmas ceremonies at my church

other synchrobloggers:
http://thissideoftomorrow.blogspot.com/
http://lissalo.blogspot.com/2008/12/synchroblog-christmas-season.html

Friday, December 12, 2008

quote of the Day 17

the Christmas synchroblog will be coming soon!  i just have a few adjustments to make that i'm too lazy to complete tonight (plus, i know i'll want to add later so i might as well wait a day).  in the mean time, i have some phrases which amused me in my daily activity of living and i wanted to share.  Enjoy!

"Excuse me while i raid my sock" -- Caity

"Porque?" -- Kristina
"Who you calling porky?!" -- Linda

"Move or I'll eat you!" -- Caity
"I'm not edible." -- Kristina
"That's debatable." -- Caity
"Only in certain countries." -- Kristina

"People are stupid." -- Caity (in a discussion about the economy and gas prices)
"They are, and the older you are the more you'll realize this.  You see certain people and wonder how they get by day to day.  How aren't they dead yet?!" -- Danelle

"So, how's school cooling down?" -- James Mitchell (after the choir concert)
"Um, well, they call this dead week, but i assure you it is NOT dead.  It is quite virulently alive, kicking and punching and screaming like an annoying baby." -- Caity

"This is Ellen.  She's amazing and has red hair.  I should really take a picture of your hair, or maybe come into your room when you're asleep and cut off a lock and treasure it forever." -- Caity
"That would be creepy.  Let's stick to the photos." -- Ellen

Saturday, December 6, 2008

how I trust

There are lots of people in the world, people of different origins and interests and talents (I know it's a horribly general statement, but don't run away just yet -- i have a point).  Most of us, through circumstance, necessity, and want, interact with other people, some of whom we like and some which we may not.  And of those we like, there are often a few we  savor the company of, and want to know and be known by.  This person constitutes a potential friend.  But at what point does that person truly receive that title of high merit, and the affection, patience, and candor truly owed to a friend? This is where the generalities cease, for I cannot speak as to how others come to accept someone into their confidence.  I only know what my experience has afforded me, how I behave before truly trusting someone.

For the most part, I am quite confident in who I am.  Yet it seems that before I befriend someone completely, I have a bout of insecurity.  I think "Who am I to intrude on the lives of others?" and "What makes me deserve their company?"
I review my every oddity and every flaw, and I wonder.

Eventually the feelings go away, as the person shows, though actions and words, that they really don't mind my company.  That I'm not a nuisance or a burden to them, but a blessing. And for that acceptance they get... me.  Good days, bad days -- eccentric thoughts and secret feelings.  My help and my opinion.  My laughter, my trust, my support, my love.

I don't know how it is for other people, if I'm unique at all in my feelings.  I don't know how it is for you. But just know that if I seem insecure about myself, it means I care what you think about me.  That you mean more to me than the average Joe, and I want to see if those feelings are at all reciprocated.

Friday, December 5, 2008

all the little AMAZINGS :D

today was a normal day... but it was full of little moments of joy, which altogether amount to make it AMAZING! here are a few of the people and things that made my day:
1) playing Scrabble with Mrs. Adams.  i won by making "graze" into "grazers," with the "s" landing on a triple word score. 48 points baby. i have the photo evidence on facebook, in the "random" folder. mrs adams is a great opponent, and a fun one too.
2) singing with El Bitz and Heather (and Raeo sometimes).  we did some fabulous harmonies, and made some nice conversation.  it felt like friends
3) i wore my fabulous white dress and shimmery shawl today. shane e., upon my excitedly asking him "Don't I look like a Swedish milk maid?!" replied, "No, you look like a deported Finish schoolteacher." (that had me practically rolling on the ground with laughter -- good ol' shaney)
4) Walking to the place where i get picked up after school with Ben M.W. and El Bitz.  Ben commented that my scarf and i are "luminous." *beams*
5) seeing/talking to Ben and Theo (Theo is an 8th grader at St. Francis, so i don't see him on a regular basis.  he rode by on his bike and shouted hi.), two of my favorite Shakespearians.  ah my Shakespearians; they always brighten the day!
6) talking to Jordan A. in history and english -- Jordan is a cheery sort.  i'd like to see her more
7) getting a hug from Sarah A. this morning, and seeing she's wearing the birthday present i gave her
8) Mrs. Manchester randomly walking into mrs adams class at lunch and handing out cookies
9) Danelle G. being so considerate and helpful after school, as well as Suzzanah G. and Linda P.

Speaking of Linda, i'm seeing her and some others at the church tonight to prepare for a sale of christmasy stuffs tomorrow.  i'm seeing quite a bit of my youthgroupians this weekend... *smiles*
that will be nice
oooh, and i'm going to a performance with emma c. on Sunday.  YES!!!
:D

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

random thoughts from today

In French and Mr. Paterelli was our substitute (for those of you who don't know him, he's an 80+ year old retired teacher who is the most hilarious and wise sub in existence).  He told us a story about a man who died recently in the complex where he lives ("we're all just waiting to die in there.  whenever an ambulance comes in we all chase it an shout 'who died?'" ).  He told us about the man's dog Ivy, and how the guy had no car so he'd walk down Leveroni  to get to Safeway to get his dog food.
I met that man.  My dad and I gave him a ride the other day to Safeway. He told us all about how he was a star football player when he was young, and about his dog Ivy.  Now he's dead, and his precious Ivy is at Pets Life Line.
Just makes me think.
***
"it's so quiet in there, you could hear a mouse peeing in a cotton ball" -- Paterelli quote
***
In English we were given the results to our Lord of the Flies character analysis, where we identified similarities between our classmates and the boys lost on the island.  I was voted Simon-like by six people, and Ralph-like by six people. Which is appropriate, for I'm a bit of both.