The event which made this rather dull evening mildly thought-provoking was a) a "Slack sighting" (to be explained) and b) talking to Saylor Garymore again. A "Slack sighting" is my term of endearment for when i see any of my three neighbors, Brooke, Lindsey, and Jeff Slack. We used to be really close, but as we get older and busy i see them rarely. Tonight i saw Lindsey, who i was perhaps the closest to. Though we don't see much of each other, we still have much history (our childhood, which is all of our life right now) together, so it's always pleasant to see her.
Option (b) was the thought-provoking aspect of the evening. Saylor Garymore and I, along with Sam Torre, were best friends in third grade. I'm talking inseparable. To this day i have many fond memories of building with lego and talking about star wars with them (yes, nathan, those two loved star wars, so i learned a bit at the time). They were quirky (especially Saylor) and intelligent and fun to be around. So we were friends. Since then i haven't seen them much. Sam and i talk, and Saylor... just sorta disappeared. We went to different schools, and hung with different people. I still see them occasionally though. Tonight I saw Saylor again for perhaps the first time in two or three years.
Earlier this year Sam and I were reminiscing, and with a laugh he categorized the each of us. "You know Caity, it's strange that we all used to be such good friends, because we're so different now. You're like, 'the good girl.' Do your homework and get the grades and all that. I'm--"
"You're smart," I interjected.
"But lazy," he added. "I could do stuff if i wanted to... but i don't." I looked at my old friend sadly and couldn't deny it.
"And Saylor?" I asked.
He laughed "Saylor's the fuck up."
His description seemed overly critical to me, and it branded into my memory. Then I spoke to him tonight.
A boy I didn't recognize came and sat by me. I looked at him and was shocked suddenly with recognition. "Hey Say!" I said, excited to see him after so long. But... there was something wrong with his eyes. They were really blood-shot. Speaking, his words were slurred, and he seemed very, well, dirty and smelly; occasionally he would seem to forget i was there and say "i want a cigarette." Or maybe he was so far gone he didn't care. I hadn't realized before how far he'd fallen. The bright, charming boy i remembered was gone, drowning in God knows what kind of hell. I wish i could have thought of something to say, to remind him who he was, to show him the repulsive creature he'd become....
But I just smiled sadly at him, trying to convey everything i couldn't find words for to say to the stranger who was once my closest friend. He didn't see.
It breaks my heart.
4 comments:
Yeah. I know how that goes.
*sigh*
That's really sad... sometimes it seems like there is nothing you can do about people and their decisions. I get so frustrated about it, but I guess that doesn't really help anything.
And to respond to your comment...
Thank you! :D And I went to Newport Beach haha I probably should have said that somewhere.
Two years ago-ish or so, I saw him at the Plaza ampitheater, and he sat on his skateboard and it broke in half. I later told my sister (she'd previously described him to me) and we had a good laugh. Sorry if that was insensitive, I just saw the name and felt like sharing.
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