Sunday, November 29, 2009

Regina Spektor Concert

The crowd buzzed impatiently, people jostling and craning their necks to stare at the empty stage.  Various instruments and techonology cluttered the stage: a cello, violin, drumset, grand piano, keyboard, as well as mics and amps.  Blinding lights would occasinally flicker across the audience and stage, inciting an eager round of aplause though still no performers emerged.  Coctail waitresses expertly navigated the dense block of people, hollering for drink orders.  The scent of stale beer and smoke wafted from the women in front of me; nauseated, I looked at the ornate decorations on the wall and ceiling to entertain me.

The Fox Theater in Oakland is as grand and gaudy as any palace. Giant golden statues resembling buddahs, gilded with glimmering gems, guarded either side of the stage; their glittering green and red eyes seemed to disdain the restless crowd in their grand domain.  Above the statues rose golden lattices which formed innumerable criss-crossing patterns, melding into the ceiling where changing colored lights painted the surface of a lavish latticework of flowers.  Along the walls were rows of well-lit enclosures; just inside them, twinkling white lights illuminated costly rugs hanging aginst the wall.

As I gazed up, the house lights began to dim.  Excited, I peered at the stage between bodies.  Sure enought, three muscians entered and took their places.  The corwd whistled and shrieked, and a chant began.  “Regina, Regina, Regina!”

Finally, from behind the folds of the black side-stage curtain she emerged, and I caught my first glimpse of the idolized singer.  She was fashionably clothed in a ruffly black dress with a shiny black belt and silver leggings.  A cascade of voluptious brown hair framed her pale face with its smiling blue eyes and bright red-painted lips. 

“Hello Oakland California,” Regina said softly into the microphone; cheers erupted in a head-ringing din.  The performer smiled shyly at this enormous response.

“Thank you for coming out tonight,” murmured the soft-spoken singer.  The crowd cheered adoringly.

Regina settled herself at the grand piano and began to sing.  The music swelled inside me until I felt certian that I would burst with the joy of it.

She opened with “The Calculation.”

***

This was a month ago and i still haven't finished it, proceeding in my infamous tradition of beginning stories and never ending them.  writing comes to me in spasms; i'm possessed by words, which burst forth in a rigorous tumult like a sudden breach in a dam.  it seizes me, and i write in a frenzy of energy.  then, as abruptly as it gripped me, the drive ceases, and i am left puzzled and winded as if i'd run a great way, only to discover i'd arrived somewhere unexpected.  i don't know that i'll ever finish a story; i am young and full of beginnings, and somehow i suspect i shall always be this way. stories lie when they have endings, for nothing ever ends; changes, certainly, but never ends.

the concert was wonderful -- perhaps someday, if the inspiration captures me, i shall continue the story.

Friday, October 2, 2009

Viva La Love Story

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zlfKdbWwruY&feature=player_embedded

One guy, over 40 countries, a dorky chicken dance... world peace? I cried. There's something weirdly beautiful and profound about this. Maybe I'm just overly tear prone
So, I'm finally behaving like a normal teenager and watching youtube videos.
:)

Saturday, August 22, 2009

I've started driving

The car, which drove so smoothly for my parents and sister, growled beneath me. It was as if it sensed my inexperience and wanted to flaunt it. Every tap of the pedal sent the car jolting and my turns were either too sharp or too slow.
Despair: I don’t want to do this!

Friday, August 7, 2009

Clinging To Morning Mist

The familiar heat swept through me
as our tongues danced.
My first kiss, when I was a little girl
everything became sharper, solid
as a nail through a butterflies wing.
Gradually that faded and now, going through the motions
he’s as fleeting and noticeable as
dissolving morning mist.
Passion is a poor substitute for affection
but we all need someone
to distract us from being alone,
which is what ultimately we are.
I peek under my lashes and see
the face of all my lovers --
he could be anyone.

Sunday, July 26, 2009

Waltzing in the Clouds

     One two-three, one two-three I moved my feet in rhythm to the loud waltz music which was swallowed by the well-lit auditorium. It was a basic waltz square, but as a follower (that is, the dancer who follows) without a partner I wasn’t sure if I was stepping correctly. After several fruitless glances at the surrounding couples (most of whom were in more trouble than I) I subtly studied the graceful movements of the couple to my left. The young man was pale with crisp black hair and clothes, and he expertly led his current partner, an older woman with long gray hair and a friendly face, in a perfect waltz square. Their motions were fluid and beautiful -- this was the type of dancer I wanted to be.
     Abruptly, I noticed that my steps were incorrect -- right foot then left. I sighed internally. Me, with two left feet, a graceful dancer? Well, a girl can dream.
    “All right, I think it’s about time for a partner change,” our instructor’s voice announced through the speaker system. Leaders and followers exchanged thanks for the pleasant dance, then leaders shifted to their right. I now had a partner -- the dancer whose movements I’d just been admiring.
    His features were sharp, his dark eyes framed by long black lashes, but the touch which he used to guide me was surprisingly light. We began with the basic square, and despite the occasional toe collision, we danced rather well. Our movement improved as I became accustomed to the feel of him, until it took only a nudge to send me gliding in the right direction. Our progress -- or, rather, his incredible skills as a leader -- delighted me.
    “This is great!” I murmured exuberantly as he flawlessly transitioned us into another step we’d learned. Though momentarily distracted by my feet, I still heard his reply.
    “I’m glad you think so,” he agreed with a mild grin. The frame of his arms straightened and relaxed as the teacher passed by. Then he grimaced.
    “Ugh,” he muttered, “I’d be so much better if I was more awake. I’m barely alive,” he added, his eyelids drooping. I shook him playfully.
    “So I’m dancing with a zombie? Psh, that’s okay. I have enough energy for both of us!” I added with an emphasizing grin. An answering smile tugged at his lips and finally escaped in a chuckle.
      We danced impeccably for a quiet span. “You should try it with your eyes closed,” he suggested as he turned me into another position and we continued dipping across the floor.
    “It feels wonderful, like you’re flying in the clouds,” he urged. Never before had I trusted my feet enough to lose sight of my surroundings, but I felt fairly safe with him. Obediently, my lids descended.
    Though I could no longer see it, my body continued its swirling motion with a grace I couldn’t have accomplished on my own. He changed my position, and though I’d done the step a hundred times, this time I ran into his foot, and my eyes shot open.
    “Sorry,” I mumbled, blushing.
    “Don’t apologize,” he lightly replied, shrugging off my incompetency. I was grateful for that. The instructor’s voice interrupted our discourse.
    “There’s another part of waltz...” she began, and proceeded to demonstrate the new step. She divided the class into leaders and followers, and after a few individual practices told us to pair up again. Grinning, I went immediately to my previous partner. He looked amused at my obvious preference for his company.
    “This time,” he murmured as we moved into position, “don’t open your eyes for anything. Anything. No matter what happens.” I couldn’t imagine what he thought might happen, but something about the proposition thrilled me. Eyes closed, I let the words enter my heart, and we began to dance.
    We stepped and a sweet serenity washed into me. We seemed to glide like ice on oiled glass, and the movement was so silky my mind soon drifted until it disappeared, sunk into a sea of cloud. It was like forgetting, losing who I was, but at the same time something made me whole. He was right -- it was like being in the clouds, though not quite flying. It was too slow, to smooth for flying. This felt like swimming, floating on a sea of cloud, a sea of color, pastel pink and blue and green. Gravity and friction forgotten, all I could feel was the gentle pressure of his hands, and the peculiarly delightful way which air seemed to flow through me rather than around me.
    “Dancing is like breathing,” I hummed, cocooned in a lullaby of cloud.
      It seemed strange when we halted, and it took me a second to realize the song was over. Still, I did not open my eyes -- this moment was too sweet to end. Yet, as with all good dreams of color and cloud, it did finish; but that was okay because I had not lost something wonderful -- I’d gained something beautiful.
    I smiled up at my partner, the man who’d shared a taste of grace, that illustrious wine which I so rarely sipped. “Thank you,” I whispered, and finding no ready adjective to completely describe the experience, I contented myself with smiling joyfully.
    “Yes, well, I am amazing...” he replied with a smug smile.
    “Don’t flatter yourself,” I teased. “Though you are amazing,” I added.
    “Have we switched recently? Switch partners!” the teacher instructed.
    We bowed our heads to each other. “Thank you for the dance,” his formal words were belied by his charmed tone.
    “Thank you,” I answered with a flourish in his direction.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Three Class Quick-Writes

Stonehenge

The first thing I remember is the sea.

It's been a long time since I was at the sea -- that was a rough life, wearing -- but never monotonous.  Each wave brought a new tickle, a new sensation.  Life is much quieter here, full of lighter sensations, full of heat and dirt and the occasional cricket.  I always liked dawn at the sea, but sunset is better here.  The fire recedes from the sky and I am drawn in -- my brothers are silent, I am the only one who still watches the sky.

 

Merlin

The feeling spread within him; his blood slowed, turned to sap.  His legs grew heavy and melded with the ground, and his fingers curled into graceful branches.  So observed Merlin, after all these years speaking with trees, this is how it feels to be one.  The scraggly white beard petrified and Merlin felt his essence leaking form his mind and into the other pores of his being like water spurting from a cracked bucket.

 

Jimi

Sky

High

Eye see you!

Don't deny

Rectify

You may burn inside –

but music makes you beautiful

Sunday, March 15, 2009

quote of the Day 21: play practice

"Why do they have five kids if they don't sleep in the same bed?"
"Trust me, you can do it anywhere." -- Mrs. Martin

"Okay everyone, I want you to take your clothes off" -- Mrs. Martin

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
:D
i love this show
i'll be really sad when it's over :(

Friday, March 6, 2009

another day

so, i'm listening to some awesome indian music (Tere Bin!) and contemplating the day. it was average, but epic.

shane said something to me at lunch today which made me laugh uncontrollably. and i'm not talking about the little hyena giggles i usually have, these were full-blown boisterous guffaws. it was just one of those little incidents which make me realize how unique and fantastic my friends are :)

the title of this is the name of a song from RENT that's awesome (aren't they all?!). i just noticed that, haha.

i blew my voice in rehearsal again (i REALLY need to practice projecting but my voice is so frail right now. GAH!) so i'm sitting here sipping hot lemon (hot water with lemon and honey in it) and have vowed (silently) to not speak for the rest of tonight.

i have no more classes until monday, and have balanced my time enough to be able to get MOST of my homework done. the rest of it i'll divvy up between the free time i have the rest of the weekend -- tonight i'm reading my book, listening to music, and relaxing. Salut!

Sunday, February 22, 2009

quote of the Day 20

"What should we name him?" -- Raeo
"Doug." -- Anna
"Doug the suicidal rolly polly!" -- Caity
"I'd write a children's book called that." -- Anna

"Very expressive! No Botox in that face!" -- Julie Eau

"Kona, why're you trying to come back in?  It was your idea to go out dog, not mine.  Ah, it's silly, trying to have an intelligent conversation with the dog." --mum.  (she says that, and yet she continues to talk to the animals... if you wonder where i got it, now you know :)

"You could rub this on your face afterword if you like."
"Well, when you put it like that... how could I possibly refuse?!?!" -- Anna
we were talking about orange peels. :P

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

my little poems

the sky is a painting
with swatches of thick gray cloud
and the universe for its canvas
***
the air is a blanket
a warm caress
a kiss of fabric
***
Every pore spills poetry
Radiating with the fervence of life
And the will to live
***
Beauty lies in
the delicate curvature of the neck
where shadows pool
into a hollow basin.
***
thoughts are as fleeting as
a delicate aroma
carried by the wind
***
When the morning sun
wakes, it peeks through hidden forest glades
and the birds sing life.
***
Water trickles down
the sheer, long gray mountain face
gradually: drip drip
***
Blossoms turn and smile
with the greatest reverie
when my love walks by
***
the egret taks wing
from the gray and marshy plain
into winter’s sky
***
Sun doth kiss the flowers
Wind and shore doth kiss the sea
Why kiss you not me?
***
Souls are light and hard to catch
they have wings of silk
in the time of the butterflies

Saturday, February 7, 2009

i will sing

People have different reactions to my singing, reactions which often speak to their character and how we'll relate to one another. The first reaction is either amusement, fascination, or irritation (these are of course gross simplifications, because truly everyone's reaction, like their personality, is different).

The amused ones put up with me for a while, like a new exhibit in a freak show. The fascinated usually become my closest friends. Some of them never get sick of it -- they enjoy singing, sharing in the excitement of music, even joining me!  Others of the "initially fascinated" category become irritated at times due to mood or circumstance, and ask me to stop.  I can respect that.  It's the constantly irritated, forever annoyed people who I can't stand.  Not because they don't care for my singing -- I can respect someone who wants quiet.  It's the malevolent attitude I get which shocks me.  It's someone reacting with a cruelty and savagery totally beyond what the situation called for.  It's someone fixating on something so trivial and directing their displaced anger at it... this is what both unnerves me and disgusts me.

I've sung since I was little... well, for as long as I can remember.  And for just as long I've been ridiculed for it.  Not by everyone -- indeed, the negative comments have lessened severely in high school, but it's amazing how isolated daggers of cruelty can wound.  Yet I never gave up singing.   Perhaps singing is part of my own subconscious battle for individuality.  Perhaps, even when I was young music was too ingrained in my spirit for me to ever leave it behind.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

quote of the Day 19

"We should paint the stage. That would be awesome! How about pink!" -- Lauren Pena
"Hot pink with flowers and swirls..." -- moi
"And roses and hearts and kisses and rainbows, and the occasional unicorn!" -- Lauren

Hahaha
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

fiddler is going to be awesome
beyond awesome
AMAZIZING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Saturday, January 10, 2009

Quote of the Day 18 + the weekly update

"It takes no genius to have a perfectly structured face. But we all have our own gifts." -- Mason Thomson, in a marvelous discussion about models vs. artists.

"Eww, that car is a gross color!" -- Christopher
"Yellow's awesome!" -- Caity
"Hey, don't dis the banana car. Wow, that opens up a whole new realm of pick-up lines. 'Hey baby, want to take a ride in my banana?" -- Mason. Haha, wow, we talk about the weirdest stuff. And yet somehow, talking with my youthgroupians is the highlight of my week :)

first day back to school was really heavy. i did homework until 8:30 :P but after that the week generally lightened up homework-wise, but other commitments seemed to descend. auditions for our school play, fiddler on the roof, are monday, and i spent every break possible singing with my friend shane, who's my audition partner (we're trying out with "Sabbath Prayer." if you haven't heard it you should; it's beautiful.)

over the break i was sure i bombed my english final, but apparently my essay was one of the best of the bunch, and my teacher asked for a copy to show future classes as an example. i know that if i'd had more time and research, my essay would have been MUCH better (our topic was animal research), but i was happy to have done well. so that cheered me up.

last year i loved sitting outside at lunch and talking with my friends. this year i've rather gotten over the novelty of the long lunch period, and get bored if i just spend 5-days a week in idle pursuits. so i've taken up two clubs, Minds Magazine (which i did last semester as well) and this monday i went for the first time to Philosophy Club. we had a marvelous discussion about the how people tend to have unrealistic expectations of their heros/significant other, placing them above human fault. this conversation put name to many thoughts and occurrences i had not previously identified. i often think fleetingly about "the nature of things" on my own, but it was delightful to have a group of intelligent and creative people to debate and theorize with. i think i shall return :)

my "tutee" Crystal (the fourth grader i tutor) is ADORABLE! we've started doing some creative writing, and she seems to be enjoying it very much. it's strange to be around little kids again, after spending a majority of my time with high schoolers. talking with Crystal has made me realize that she thinks i know everything because i'm an older person. i'd forgotten what it's like to be that age; it's rather refreshing.

i've discovered dance. completely and fully. i love it; i love feeling healthy, and (marginally) graceful. it'll never be as potent a passion as singing, but i definitely want to experiment more with it!

so that's the weekly update.
Salut!

Thursday, January 1, 2009

balance to the fork

 i brought balance to the fork.
like Luke
only in the kitchen =]

may the fork be with you.