time flies

exerpt from an email to my dearest nathanial

***

anyways, i haven't done anything today much of note, just plodded along wishing i was with you. as i look back on even my few years the phrase "time flies" has more and more meaning. i feel that if i stop concentrating on the details of the momentary pains and pleasures of daily life, times will blur my vision at the speed it's moving. maybe that's the real difference between existing and living -- existence is the blur of the passage of time; individual existence will be little more than a single brushstroke on the infinite canvas of the universe. but living is something else entirely. living means absorbing the details, appreciating what one has while one has it. even if all one has is a single brushstroke... might as well be the most colorful stroke one can make it :)

Ground Zero Travel Contest Essay

Hey all! this a story i wrote about an experience i had a while back for a travel contest. would love comments on what you think and suggestions for titles, grammar, better syntax, etc. thanks!

Our guide Jean wove expertly through the waves of people, and the four of us darted after her. Only Brianna, Matt, Casey and I chose to go to Ground Zero rather than shop. Four out of fifty six. Pushing aside the disgust I felt for my fellow students disinterest, I instead observed the City. Glancing around, nothing could be seen farther than forty feet in any direction, for everywhere one looked grand structures loomed under a thick plastering of gray clouds. It was fascinating and tiring at the same time.
For the past three days my fellow students and I’d been experiencing the marvelous life and style of New York City. It seemed like anything could be found in the immense City’s plethora; the only thing absent was silence. Shouts, bangs, laughter, blaring horns and the rumble of traffic meshed into a bedlam of constant sound.
We proceeded briskly through the mobs, passing a smorgasbord of folks. Men, women, old, young, short, tall, dark, fair -- the streets were a patchwork of faces, an ever-changing pattern. The air was laden with the perfume of City life: exhaust fumes and cigarette smoke. I coughed. The City had a time all its own -- everything hurried and rushed, as if there was not enough time in the day. Night did not exist there. Indeed, the City never slept, neon signs and thousands of artificial lights blurring the paint of time into a continuous canvas.
City life buzzed around us, but Ground Zero moved with a different rhythm. The site itself was nothing more than a vast construction zone, workers in vivid yellow jackets laboring amidst the damage. However things were slower here, almost as if the entire City was holding its breath. We gazed upon the rubble that sent violent repercussions through the American people and the world.
“Where were you on 9/11?” I asked Jean curiously.
She responded crisply but her expression was grim. “Funny story about that. I was supposed to be meeting a client that day. She worked at the top of Tower Two,” Jean paused. A chill like an icy finger ran down my spine, but the group remained entranced with suspense.
“What happened?” Brianna asked.
“My mother was very sick at the time. I decided to drive down to Jersey and see her. I called early and rescheduled the appointment; the woman I was supposed to meet died in the crash.”
No one spoke, though the feeling was unanimous. The realization that a coincidence had saved this woman’s life, and the terrifying notion of how little we know about how our decisions affect our tomorrow. Understanding how tenuous life is. How sometimes it’s just a matter of getting lucky.
It was an adventure... still, I would be glad to return to my little California town. I took a deep breath, coughed, and followed Jean back through the crowded streets of New York City.

today

i saw nathan today

it was amazing, as usual

also met sara, saw alissa, their roommate and their pet rabbit luna

it was an epic experience

performed for the wilmar fundraiser when i returned to sonoma

we were good and the whole experience was fun, except now i have this goop on my face

i hate make up

you'll hear more on this later

for now, i'm going to the bathroom to attempt to scrub more of it off

peace

quote of the day 9

"He wants us to edit this." -- Max

"What? We've already copy edited this! I'm not doing this again!" -- Lee

"I know, he lost the edited one." -- Max

"Tell him to find my other edits or I'll copy edit him in the face," holds up fist menacingly.  "With a red pen. And by pen I mean sword.  And the ink will be the blood.  From his face." -- Lee

never a boring moment in Newspaper :)

i had a very odd dream last night

i was in a castle, and it was raining.  i was trying to barricade the doors against people outside -- i was inside with others, but they were random people i can't recall.  anyways, even though i was inside the castle, i had the weird feeling that i was the intruder, that the people who i sought to bar entrance should really be the ones inside.  there was a golden retriever there too for some reason, trying to help the people outside get in.  it kept jumping hundreds of feet onto balconies.  in the fashion of dreams everything seemed distinct and expected at the time yet is baffling now that i'm awake.  

the result of this dream, even more bizarre than it's actual occurrence, was that i awoke with a strong urge to recreate the castle.  so i did.  i pulled out my Lego (no easy feat because it was buried in my closet and i have quite a collection from my earlier years) yes, i build with Lego -- there darn awesome. i've seriously considered getting into architecture, if only it didn't involve so much math.

so basically, i spent a majority of the day building with Lego.  it's one of those activities that just sucks up time -- it seems to flow by without my even noticing.  very restful.  

after that mum took me out to lunch at the Cheese Factory, where i ordered the same sandwich i always do. it's kinda funny, because i always order the same thing there, but i always get something different. i've gotten the wrong bread, mustard when i asked for none, no cheese, wrong cheese, no meat, no pickle.  today i got lettuce though i didn't ask for it. always an adventure at the cheese factory.

i talked to my next door neighbors who i haven't seen in FOREVER today.  only for a few minutes before i whisked off to youth group, but it was enough to be shocked at how much brooke and lindsey (sisters three/two years younger than me who used to be my only friends in the world) have grown up, and to realize that my fifth-grader neighbor Jake is taller than me. humph.

youth group was fabulous.  we played all these running games and have rug burns on my hands and knees from sliding about on the rough carpet.  it was a good lesson too.

so that's the update for today.

i miss you.

:'(

Victor Hugo

for my history class i have to research something which influenced art forms.  I chose to investigate Victor Hugo, author of The Hunchback of Notre Dame and Les Miserables.

i have the musical versions to both stories, and two of my favorite quotes are: 

"who is the monster and who is the man?" -- hunchback

"i ask for nothing, i can get by

but i know so many less lucky than i

God help my people, the poor and down trod

i thought we are were the children of God." -- hunchback

"I had a dream in days gone by

when love was high and life worth living

i dreamed that love would never die

i dreamed that God would be forgiving...

but there are dreams that cannot be

and there are storms we cannot weather..." -- les mis

"to be struck to the bone in a moment of breathless delight

how the world may be changed in just one burst of light

and what was right seems wrong

and what was wrong seems right..." -- les mis

note to self/everyone else in the universe:

REALLY NEED TO READ THESE BOOKS

quote of the day 8: wacky tacky day

I gazed quizzically over her red-and-white obscure-faces patterned one-piece outfit.

"Out of curiosity, where'd you get that?"

She looked me square in the eye.  "A dead person!"

Silence.

"Hm." Outburst of raucous laughter from each of us.

"I love thrift stores" she exclaimed between fits of giggles.

"You need no occasion to eat popcorn!" -- Kristina

just wanted to share this with y'all :)