how I trust

There are lots of people in the world, people of different origins and interests and talents (I know it's a horribly general statement, but don't run away just yet -- i have a point).  Most of us, through circumstance, necessity, and want, interact with other people, some of whom we like and some which we may not.  And of those we like, there are often a few we  savor the company of, and want to know and be known by.  This person constitutes a potential friend.  But at what point does that person truly receive that title of high merit, and the affection, patience, and candor truly owed to a friend? This is where the generalities cease, for I cannot speak as to how others come to accept someone into their confidence.  I only know what my experience has afforded me, how I behave before truly trusting someone.

For the most part, I am quite confident in who I am.  Yet it seems that before I befriend someone completely, I have a bout of insecurity.  I think "Who am I to intrude on the lives of others?" and "What makes me deserve their company?"

I review my every oddity and every flaw, and I wonder.

Eventually the feelings go away, as the person shows, though actions and words, that they really don't mind my company.  That I'm not a nuisance or a burden to them, but a blessing. And for that acceptance they get... me.  Good days, bad days -- eccentric thoughts and secret feelings.  My help and my opinion.  My laughter, my trust, my support, my love.

I don't know how it is for other people, if I'm unique at all in my feelings.  I don't know how it is for you. But just know that if I seem insecure about myself, it means I care what you think about me.  That you mean more to me than the average Joe, and I want to see if those feelings are at all reciprocated.