Friday, October 31, 2008

halloween

Mia/Rosa invited me to go up to SSU with her
which was remarkably sweet of her
but the parents didn't want me at a college campus so far away, particularly on such a... festive holiday.
then my sister called in hysterics to say that her friend went into cardiac arrest and was in critical condition in the ICU of a hospital in San Francisco. Gin's not having a great holiday.
now i'm going trick-or-treating with my friend brianna, who called me twenty minutes ago. (typical brianna :)
it was really nice of her to invite me
i'm glad i accepted

*sigh*
life is mayhem

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Quote of the Day 11

"I can still feel my phone in my pocket, even though i left it at Samantha's. It's as if it's made an imprint in my thigh." -- Shane E.
"Are you having separation anxiety?" -- Samantha Salek

"I'm going to the No Name."
"And leaving me here with these freaks?" -- me
"Don't worry, you'll fit right in." -- Kristina Toni

sometimes they're so sarcastic it's painful

Thursday, October 23, 2008

bresson photo



in French class we're studying french artists who influenced French culture and the world. i and my friend Christina Cirelli are researching a french photographer named Cartier-Bresson -- he's pretty incredible. this is one of my favorite pictures of his.
"Bressons legacy lay in his capturing of the bizarre and fascinating acts of every day people. He captured expressions and postures, shadows and lines, fleeting moments forever frozen on film..." -- excerpt from my paper on Bresson

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

synchroblog #2

mmm, i like this synchrobloging thing:  it's really neat to see what everyone else writes and how it compares to my own little stash of happiness.  well, here it is:

PERFORMING. singing, acting, dancing.  being with people who understand the passion of the stage, who i can share my voice and my personality with.  music... is my soul.  listening, projecting, communicating through song.  another layer of bonding occurs when i sing with someone... it's a reason for living.  most of my closest friends are immersed in at least one aspect of the arts, or are dramatic in some way.  

reading and writing, of course. feeling expressed through words. there's nothing comparable to that feeling when (reading or writing) i come to a passage that uses just the right wording.  it's amazing what one can capture on paper... things which appeared simple can have a layer of complexity, and complex things can become simple.  sometimes the best writing is just describing something for what it is.  when i comprehend something through writing i understand it in ways i didn't know existed. even when i write about myself.  or perhaps especially when i write about myself. anyways, it creates a different perspective.

Spontaneously being good at something which has previously been difficult.  Using chopsticks for instance.  This has always been a mystery and a challenge for me; for years i've tried unsuccessfully attempted to use chopsticks, always surrendering to the familiar fork.  However, last night Mum handed me chopsticks and voila! I was even picking up individual pieces of rice!  *shakes head in bewilderment*
i guess this makes me happy because it shows that even if i don't show progress at something at first, practicing really works. which is good, because "practice" is basically the catch phrase of my existence.

NATHANIAL makes me happy. his quirky habits and stories, the way he listens and the way he talks.  being with someone i can trust so completely, not feeling ashamed or awkward.  he's irreplaceable <3
 
what else makes me happy? random little stuff:
hugs, random sincere compliments, less homework than i expected, letter in the mail, mum's good cooking, photography, visit/call/invitation from a friend, drawing, a good song on the radio, rebelliously staying up until 2 in the morning reading a good book, falling asleep to the sound of the rain on my skylight, learning something new about someone, singing in the shower, discovering a really good book/movie/eatery, having a really in-depth conversation, laughing, and all that jazz

all the little things which add up to make life... just right :)

other blogs:

http://thissideoftomorrow.blogspot.com/2008/10/synchroblog-2-on-happiness.html
http://thevoicetobeheard.blogspot.com/2008/10/synchroblog-happiness.html
http://nickbrown.wordpress.com/2008/10/19/my-second-synchroblog/

Monday, October 20, 2008

Quote of the Day 10

"It's okay that you talk to inanimate objects, as long as they don't talk back."
(the above one was so funny i wrote it on my leg on the car ride up to the bowling alley so i wouldn't forget it)

"Everyone has moments, but you live in the moment."

oh dearest melissa.
she's always running into things and tripping and tweaking.
gotta love that girl

Saturday, October 18, 2008

fresh choice excursion

okay, 
when i was little getting shots was actually exciting
not the actual shot part (i'm fairly good at getting shots but it still sucks)

what was exciting was that after we got shots my grandfather would take my entire family out to lunch/dinner at Fresh Choice.  ever since i can remember i've always made the same special salad at fresh choice -- it starts with the grated carrot, a large pile for the base.  next comes the peas and corn (they're always right next to each other so order doesn't really matter) then comes the broccoli (yeah, it used to be one of my favorite foods.  now i just drown it in dressing so i can't taste it.)  then comes the pickles (the sour kind; i've accidentally put the sweet kind on before -- no bueno).  after that i drench the whole pile in ranch dressing, and top it off with plain/italian crunchies (they're actually called croutons, but i call them crunchies.).  Finally, the defining feature of my special lunch is a miniature martinellie's apple cider.  occasionally i'll add a slice of cheese pizza and/or new england clam chowder; hence why i always leave with a stomach ache

the point of this story is that it's a once a year thing that reminds me of when my grandfather was alive.  the food's good, but more than that it's a ritual.  this time though, i was faced with blows of change.  i slid my platter down the counter and was quite distressed to discover there was absolutely no grated carrot.  the foundation of my magnificent salad was missing.  i continued to find broccoli in a box before the peas and corn, and that the plain crunchies were replaced with a mixture.  To top it all off, they had no martinellies.  My world was spinning.  

it seems so ridiculous, except to me it's not silly at all.  this is how it's always been -- i go to fresh choice and i get my salad that i made up when i was little.  period.  it feels like... there are some things i just never expected would change.  something that would always remain steady.
*sigh*
there goes my happy innocent bubble
i'm still trying to accept that all things change
*snort*
fat chance of that happening anytime soon
well, at least the salad wasn't too bad without carrot.

ps. we spent several hours at borders and i bought two books with my gift cards.  mom did something very unusual and spent 100+ dollars on stuffs. most of it was early christmas/birthday shopping.
oh, and george lucas was ahead of us in line.  just thought you'd think that was cool nathan

leaving

i'm going to get my flu shot now
but we're also going out to lunch
and to borders
i have a bazillion giftcards which i need to use up, so it should be exciting.  just walking through rows of books, the tranquility and that paper smell....
mmm, i love bookstores

Friday, October 17, 2008

yay three day weekend!!!... not so much

YAY FOR THE THREE DAY WEEKEND!!!!
*dances celebratory jig*
*realizes won't be seeing nathan*
*cries*
you know what i'm doing over my wonderfully long weekend?
my french current event,
my other french project too,
studying for AP Bio,
reading Lord of the Flies (ew) for english, 
and getting a flu shot
whoopie
:/
*sigh*
well, hopefully i'll also be going to youth group also
and Witchie Poo is always awesome
plus there's that satisfying feeling of NOT going to school on monday
but still
i miss him
:(

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

time flies

exerpt from an email to my dearest nathanial
***
anyways, i haven't done anything today much of note, just plodded along wishing i was with you. as i look back on even my few years the phrase "time flies" has more and more meaning. i feel that if i stop concentrating on the details of the momentary pains and pleasures of daily life, times will blur my vision at the speed it's moving. maybe that's the real difference between existing and living -- existence is the blur of the passage of time; individual existence will be little more than a single brushstroke on the infinite canvas of the universe. but living is something else entirely. living means absorbing the details, appreciating what one has while one has it. even if all one has is a single brushstroke... might as well be the most colorful stroke one can make it :)

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Ground Zero Travel Contest Essay

Hey all! this a story i wrote about an experience i had a while back for a travel contest. would love comments on what you think and suggestions for titles, grammar, better syntax, etc. thanks!

Our guide Jean wove expertly through the waves of people, and the four of us darted after her. Only Brianna, Matt, Casey and I chose to go to Ground Zero rather than shop. Four out of fifty six. Pushing aside the disgust I felt for my fellow students disinterest, I instead observed the City. Glancing around, nothing could be seen farther than forty feet in any direction, for everywhere one looked grand structures loomed under a thick plastering of gray clouds. It was fascinating and tiring at the same time.
For the past three days my fellow students and I’d been experiencing the marvelous life and style of New York City. It seemed like anything could be found in the immense City’s plethora; the only thing absent was silence. Shouts, bangs, laughter, blaring horns and the rumble of traffic meshed into a bedlam of constant sound.
We proceeded briskly through the mobs, passing a smorgasbord of folks. Men, women, old, young, short, tall, dark, fair -- the streets were a patchwork of faces, an ever-changing pattern. The air was laden with the perfume of City life: exhaust fumes and cigarette smoke. I coughed. The City had a time all its own -- everything hurried and rushed, as if there was not enough time in the day. Night did not exist there. Indeed, the City never slept, neon signs and thousands of artificial lights blurring the paint of time into a continuous canvas.
City life buzzed around us, but Ground Zero moved with a different rhythm. The site itself was nothing more than a vast construction zone, workers in vivid yellow jackets laboring amidst the damage. However things were slower here, almost as if the entire City was holding its breath. We gazed upon the rubble that sent violent repercussions through the American people and the world.
“Where were you on 9/11?” I asked Jean curiously.
She responded crisply but her expression was grim. “Funny story about that. I was supposed to be meeting a client that day. She worked at the top of Tower Two,” Jean paused. A chill like an icy finger ran down my spine, but the group remained entranced with suspense.
“What happened?” Brianna asked.
“My mother was very sick at the time. I decided to drive down to Jersey and see her. I called early and rescheduled the appointment; the woman I was supposed to meet died in the crash.”
No one spoke, though the feeling was unanimous. The realization that a coincidence had saved this woman’s life, and the terrifying notion of how little we know about how our decisions affect our tomorrow. Understanding how tenuous life is. How sometimes it’s just a matter of getting lucky.
It was an adventure... still, I would be glad to return to my little California town. I took a deep breath, coughed, and followed Jean back through the crowded streets of New York City.

Saturday, October 11, 2008

today

i saw nathan today
it was amazing, as usual
also met sara, saw alissa, their roommate and their pet rabbit luna
it was an epic experience
performed for the wilmar fundraiser when i returned to sonoma
we were good and the whole experience was fun, except now i have this goop on my face
i hate make up
you'll hear more on this later
for now, i'm going to the bathroom to attempt to scrub more of it off
peace

Monday, October 6, 2008

quote of the day 9

"He wants us to edit this." -- Max
"What? We've already copy edited this! I'm not doing this again!" -- Lee
"I know, he lost the edited one." -- Max
"Tell him to find my other edits or I'll copy edit him in the face," holds up fist menacingly.  "With a red pen. And by pen I mean sword.  And the ink will be the blood.  From his face." -- Lee

never a boring moment in Newspaper :)

Sunday, October 5, 2008

i had a very odd dream last night
i was in a castle, and it was raining.  i was trying to barricade the doors against people outside -- i was inside with others, but they were random people i can't recall.  anyways, even though i was inside the castle, i had the weird feeling that i was the intruder, that the people who i sought to bar entrance should really be the ones inside.  there was a golden retriever there too for some reason, trying to help the people outside get in.  it kept jumping hundreds of feet onto balconies.  in the fashion of dreams everything seemed distinct and expected at the time yet is baffling now that i'm awake.  
the result of this dream, even more bizarre than it's actual occurrence, was that i awoke with a strong urge to recreate the castle.  so i did.  i pulled out my Lego (no easy feat because it was buried in my closet and i have quite a collection from my earlier years) yes, i build with Lego -- there darn awesome. i've seriously considered getting into architecture, if only it didn't involve so much math.
so basically, i spent a majority of the day building with Lego.  it's one of those activities that just sucks up time -- it seems to flow by without my even noticing.  very restful.  
after that mum took me out to lunch at the Cheese Factory, where i ordered the same sandwich i always do. it's kinda funny, because i always order the same thing there, but i always get something different. i've gotten the wrong bread, mustard when i asked for none, no cheese, wrong cheese, no meat, no pickle.  today i got lettuce though i didn't ask for it. always an adventure at the cheese factory.
i talked to my next door neighbors who i haven't seen in FOREVER today.  only for a few minutes before i whisked off to youth group, but it was enough to be shocked at how much brooke and lindsey (sisters three/two years younger than me who used to be my only friends in the world) have grown up, and to realize that my fifth-grader neighbor Jake is taller than me. humph.
youth group was fabulous.  we played all these running games and have rug burns on my hands and knees from sliding about on the rough carpet.  it was a good lesson too.
so that's the update for today.
i miss you.
:'(

Saturday, October 4, 2008

Victor Hugo

for my history class i have to research something which influenced art forms.  I chose to investigate Victor Hugo, author of The Hunchback of Notre Dame and Les Miserables.
i have the musical versions to both stories, and two of my favorite quotes are: 

"who is the monster and who is the man?" -- hunchback

"i ask for nothing, i can get by
but i know so many less lucky than i
God help my people, the poor and down trod
i thought we are were the children of God." -- hunchback

"I had a dream in days gone by
when love was high and life worth living
i dreamed that love would never die
i dreamed that God would be forgiving...
but there are dreams that cannot be
and there are storms we cannot weather..." -- les mis

"to be struck to the bone in a moment of breathless delight
how the world may be changed in just one burst of light
and what was right seems wrong
and what was wrong seems right..." -- les mis

note to self/everyone else in the universe:
REALLY NEED TO READ THESE BOOKS

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

quote of the day 8: wacky tacky day

I gazed quizzically over her red-and-white obscure-faces patterned one-piece outfit.
"Out of curiosity, where'd you get that?"
She looked me square in the eye.  "A dead person!"
Silence.
"Hm." Outburst of raucous laughter from each of us.
"I love thrift stores" she exclaimed between fits of giggles.

"You need no occasion to eat popcorn!" -- Kristina

just wanted to share this with y'all :)